Evolution
by iheartShules
Summary: Their relationship evolved and changed through the years but one simple thing always remained the same. ::CAREESE::
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: Hi! *waves* I won't say much other than that it's told through Carter's pov. It's AU since she lives.**_

 _ **Elaine, I seriously love you for putting up with me. I just randomly send you stories all the time without warning and you always give me quick feedback or proof it at lightning speed. Your advice is invaluable and I appreciate your friendship and support XOXOX**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing. I just like thinking up things for these two.**_

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Two steps forward and one back was a consistent theme in her relationship with John. From adversaries to allies and friends, to being avoided like the plague because John couldn't reconcile everything that she had done to help him with Donnelly. But they fixed that; fixed them. So then it was growing closer to becoming best friends and leaning on John to help her find justice for Cal by bringing HR to its knees, to only wind up getting shot in the chest. It had taken Joss months to recover and John had been there every step of the way even though he had been recovering from his own gunshot wounds. He even let her use him as her own personal snot tissue when she cried. He had been her rock, her anchor, and her voice of reason when her expectations didn't quite meet reality.

Their kiss in the morgue hung between them. John looked at her differently; she looked at him just as differently. How could she look at him as just her friend, best friend, when she couldn't seem to stop craving his kiss, his touch? Their relationship changed again. They went from adversaries to allies to friends, to best friends, and then lovers. And it had been amazing; John was amazing. He was gentle, giving, loving, rough, and tender at the same time. Joss never felt loved and ravished at the same time before. It was something she never had and didn't want to live without.

Then all hell broke loose. John reluctantly disappeared, after bidding her a tearful farewell, and reappeared with a new alias and occupation given to him from the machine to save his life. Joss almost laughed when he introduced himself as a narcotics detective, and then almost cried when he pretended that they were virtual strangers. Her heart had clenched to have to pretend that she never kissed those lips, never felt his touch, and never meant anything to him. The machine played with her too; giving her a promotion to Captain of the 8th precinct so that a spot was open in her precinct for John to become Fusco's partner.

So she went from being his best friend and lover, to his boss. It was a tough adjustment for them both. John had no damn clue how to color in the lines of the law and she hated having to control him. It wasn't the partnership they always had and something she had coveted. Joss mourned the loss of them as if it was a deceased loved one because getting back what was torn from them was much harder with Samaritan watching their every move. Not to mention John was distant and cold, trying his damnedest at keeping her at arms' length because he wanted to protect her. But she hadn't wanted his protection, she merely wanted him.

And she got him too. John had come to her after Shaw was lost to them; looking broken and wild. Rough sex ensued and she simply held him as he cried afterwards. Cried for the loss of a friend, for the loss of them, and from the stress that he was beginning to strain under, afraid he was going to crack; she simply whispered empty platitudes in his ear as she rocked him in her arms. John was the bravest and most courageous man she ever known. If anyone could bend and not break from everything that was heaped upon his shoulders it was John.

Afterwards they snuck around conducting their relationship in secret; a stolen moment here and a stolen moment there. If anyone found out she was fucking a Detective that was in her own precinct then there would be consequences. Interoffice romance was frowned upon, especially between a Captain and a Detective, even if the said Detective wasn't really one but no one knew that but them.

So they went from adversaries to allies to friends to best friends to lovers to co-workers, to romantic co-workers. Their relationship had evolved and changed as much as the situations and obstacles in their path did. But one simple thing remained the same through all of their upheavals; the fact that they always found their way back to each other. And Joss held onto that fact at this very moment.

Samaritan was destroyed. Decima was obliterated. Shaw was found, clearly a little off, and working the numbers again with the machine that was saved. Root hadn't survived the showdown with Samaritan, protecting Finch, and the machine took on her voice. Fusco was safe and sound; he now knew about the machine too. Finch was in Italy to be with Grace because he was done saving the world. Shaw needed to work the numbers still because she needed the action and the thrill. It was also a way to be close to Root or at least Root's voice.

But John was missing after saving the world as they knew it. She refused to believe he was dead. Finch told her everything and she knew there was a million to one chance that he survived being surrounded by Samaritan agents and the missile strike. But John would be the one. He had to be. She refused to believe he was gone. She would feel it. Surely she would know that the man she loved was dead. Her heart would be shattered into pieces with no hope of ever being whole again.

Her mind instantly conjured up their last conversation;

" _I need you to know, Joss, that if it comes down to my life for Finch's I will give mine up. I have to protect Finch. The machine and I have an agreement."_

" _That's fine. I can't change who you are, John; you'll always protect everyone else but yourself; so protect Finch, save the world, but come back to me."_

 _His eyes grew soft. "I want too; I want a normal life with you. I love you, Joss."_

" _I love you too, John; promise me you'll come home after all of this is over."_

" _Joss I can't promise…"_

" _Promise me! By god, promise me you will come back to me so we can finally be together or I will follow you and we'll die together bringing Samaritan down."_

" _Joss…" he snarled in anger._

" _Promise me!" she snapped._

" _You have my word," he growled._

" _I'm holding you to that." she whispered as she tugged him down for a kiss._

Joss shook the reverie away as she lied on her side on her bed, tears still falling as she clutched his suit blazer to her chest. "John, you promised," she whispered to herself.

Her cell rang and she instantly rolled onto her back to reach for it. Her heart began to pound as it was an unknown number. She answered it immediately. "Hello," she whispered raggedly.

"Hi Joss," the machine spoke in Root's voice.

"Is he alive?" she asked with a wobbly voice.

"You don't beat around the bush."

"Is he alive?" she repeated angrily.

"Yes; he's in stable condition. John sustained several gunshot wounds which required multiple surgeries once the staff was sure he would survive through them, and there will be future surgeries too."

Joss closed her eyes as she sobbed. The machine grew quiet and gave her a moment. She didn't care if he had one leg or was paralyzed; he was alive. "Oh thank god," she whimpered.

"God had nothing to do with his surviving. I think you humans call it stubbornness."

Joss swallowed the sob that wanted to make it out as she sat up as she let out a half laugh, almost forgetting that the machine was an artificial intelligence. "Thank you for saving him."

"I care for John too, Jocelyn."

"I know you do," she whispered. "Where he is?"

"He is currently listed as John Doe at _Mount Sinai St. Lukes_. I sent in assets with the only objective to make sure John was secured; once I knew when and where everything would take place. I do apologize that I took so long to let you know that he made it, but I wanted to make sure he would survive before I got your hopes up."

Joss nearly snapped that she wanted to have known regardless if he wouldn't have made it. But the machine was still an artificial intelligence. It didn't know any better. "I have to get to him. Thanks for letting me know," she said sincerely.

"Do you need me to call you a taxi?"

"No I can drive myself," she assured the voice. And with that she hung up with the machine. For the first time since all went quiet with John; she smiled. She tugged his shirt she was wearing off and knew she needed a shower. She had been slumming it while she wallowed in her misery, waiting for word on John's fate; surely John would scream in fright if he saw her right now.

Joss ran around her bedroom and bathroom, telling herself she waited eight days to see him again, that another extra twenty minutes to make herself presentable wasn't going to hurt, but she took the quickest shower in her life before tugging her clothes on over wet skin. She frowned a bit at how baggy her skinny jeans felt; she needed to gain a few pounds she lost back. But she hadn't felt like eating. How could she when she didn't know if her soulmate survived or not?

She raced around her living room to finally be ready to go to John. "I'm coming John. We have forever that you promised me," she whispered to herself and with that she rushed out of her place, started her car and pulled away from the curb to head to her future.

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AN: I have been advised that this ending is not satisfactory so part 2 will be coming soon. This was just a culmination of what I was thinking of what could have happened had they never killed Joss off and still kept everything that they show did still the same except for that change.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: Before you guys read I just had to give a quick shout-out to Elaine for helping me with this chapter. Thank you Elaine for letting me pick your brain for your knowledge in the medical field. Had it not been for you this would have been unrealistic as I know squat and would have been winging it. So I thank you a million times over XOXO**_

 _ **P.S. This is like the third try for me to post since I kept getting errors from FF, so if you see tons of alerts for this chapter. I'm sorry.**_

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Joss wasn't fully conscious of how she reached the hospital. It felt like a blur. One moment she was slowly dying inside, waiting for any kind of word on John to the next being at the hospital, racing her way in with heart pounding, blood pumping, and fragile hope that all this wasn't some fantasy her broken heart was conjuring up.

"Hi Carter."

Joss stopped before entering the automatic sliding door to look to her left. There, leaning up against the wall of the hospital in her leather half jacket, tight jeans, and shoulder-length curly hair was Harper Rose.

"Harper?"

"In the flesh, we've been waiting for you. The machine let us know that you were on the way and the boys left me to be the welcome wagon," she explained as she shoved off from the wall. "It's good to see you again, Carter."

"Where is he?" she demanded. Harper loved to tease and joke, something she usually didn't mind but she wasn't in the mood right now; she needed to see John.

Harper grinned. "I love your no bullshit attitude. It's perfect for Mr. Laconic, he can't pull a fast one on you," she said with a laugh. "Come with me," she motioned with her hand as they entered through the automatic sliding door.

"Is he awake?"

"No. He's just waiting to bat those blue eyes at you, I think," Harper commented. Joss simply followed her into the elevator and shifted from foot to foot in antsy anticipation. A few more minutes, just a few more long minutes and she would see John again.

Harper let them slide into silence. Riley, or rather Reese, looked larger than life and was badass to the core, but lying in that hospital bed on a ventilator to keep him alive after the CPR she did on him the entire helicopter ride to the hospital to keep blood pumping in the heart reminded her that John was really just as human as everybody else. He wasn't as invincible as he looked or acted.

She refused to let him die. Not after everything he did to survive. Joey had helped John by evening out the odds with the Samaritan Agents as he picked them off one by one with headshots from the safety of the helicopter as they closed in on the rooftop where John was slouched over. Harper could lie and say she was calm and cool under the pressure but in reality her heart had been in her throat. John wasn't just some number to her to Joey or to Pierce; he meant something to them all.

Harper shifted her gaze onto Joss as the elevator doors opened. But as much as he meant to them John meant more to this woman beside her. "You know the only reason he's even alive is you," she murmured as they stepped out of the elevator together.

Joss looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"Saving John was a team effort; Pierce flew his helicopter and Joey sniped one Samaritan agent after another to protect John without a spotter. He once bragged about his marksmanship skills but I thought it was all talk. Thankfully for our favorite tall drink of water Joey wasn't just filled with hot air."

"Headshots I hope?" Joss asked coldly.

Harper prayed to never hear that chilling tone ever again. She always felt like Carter was like a big sister; warm, nurturing, tough when need to be, but not cold and unfeeling.

"Yes," she answered. "And as for me; I was the one that watched the clock to keep us from running over our allotted time we had to survive. But John had the toughest job of all because he had to save himself."

"What does that mean?"

"All we could do was throw him down a rope ladder and pray he could make it up the steps alone even bleeding everywhere, like a sieve, while Pierce flew the helicopter away from the rooftop just before the missile struck. There wasn't enough time to send me out in a harness and rescue him the conventional way; it would have taken too long and we all would have died," Harper admitted. It was tough being so helpless and having to watch someone you looked up too swinging precariously in the wind and his usual crisp white dress shirt was red as he fumbled his way up.

"I _should_ have been there," Joss snapped. It should have been her guiding John up that ladder and been the one to be by his side. Instead she got shipped off to help Shaw and Fusco in the subway.

"The machine made a judgment call. You were needed with Bruiser and Lionel; the machine trusted us to save John," Harper replied as gently as possible. "Anyway, all we could do for John was wait for him to get close enough to the top to help pull him inside. And when he got close I could hear him muttering your name and something about needing to keep a promise."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she listened to Harper speak and Joss tried to smile but she couldn't manage to pull it off. "He always keeps his promises," she said, choked.

Harper rubbed her arm in comfort as they approached the room all the way at the end. She opened the door and held it open for Joss to enter.

Joss let out a soundless cry as she entered his hospital room. She looked up at the ceiling. "Dear God, thank you," she whispered with emotion as John filled her vision. He looked awful. He was all wires, tubes, and whiter than his hospital gown…but he was alive. Tears flowed freely as she shifted her gaze off his prone body to the heart monitor that beeped. She silently moved forward and collapsed in the chair near his bed as she bowed her head over his hand and cried tears of utter joy.

"Thank you John for keeping your promise," she whimpered as she lifted her head so she could stare at his pale face that was scruffy with a beard growing and grabbed his hand gently in hers very, careful to not hit the IV. She watched as his chest rose and fell to the rate set on the ventilator; the motion and sound soothed her.

She composed herself as she rubbed his arm. "I've missed you so much. These last eight days have been pure hell, John; not knowing if your soulmate is alive or not is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy."

Harper cleared her throat as she rubbed away a few tears that leaked out. This reminded her of being by her fiancé's side as he fought, only to lose his battle with cancer. It was what made her not care about anything; choosing to con people because life sucked. That was until she met Detective John Riley and Harold who showed care for her well-being even though she didn't deserve it. "I'll be outside if you need me," she said quietly.

Joss just mutely nodded as she stared at John, wanting him to open his eyes but she didn't even know what kind of condition he was in. The machine said stable condition and while that was better than critical or serious; she still didn't know the extent of the injuries he sustained. It could be a long road to recovery for John; longer than hers when she was shot in the chest. She took one; who knew how many times John was shot, but she'd be there every step of the way just as he had been there for her.

She ran a critical eye over him and felt her heart break a little as she saw a bandage near his left temple. She finally took notice that his leg was elevated and wrapped which meant he took a bullet there. That was also on his left side. But she knew the real damage was under the hospital gown. She wished Harper hadn't stepped out so she could tell her what sort of injuries John had.

But instead of worrying about what happened to John she focused on the fact that he was still here. She couldn't stop touching him and began telling him how excited Taylor was going to be to find out that Mr. Badass was alive and well. She told John about Finch leaving for Italy to go be with Grace and how he had succeeded in saving the machine. It was back up and operational, spitting out numbers. Shaw was going to work the numbers alone with the occasional assist from her and Lionel. Bear was going to keep her company and hopefully help her heal. Shaw told her about the simulation that she murdered John in and how paranoid she was being near him because she was scared she'd hurt him. Joss had never seen tears in Shaw's eyes before and she had been helpless to help Shaw.

" _Carter, if I ever snap…"_

" _You won't." Joss insisted._

" _But if I do…"_

" _You won't" she repeated angrily. "I don't know if John is alive or not; all is silent. I feel like I'm dying, Shaw, so don't pull this on me. Whatever they made you view that messed with your mind to kill John in the simulation is not you, understood?—you will never hurt any of us!"_

She shook the reverie away as she focused on John. "You know Shaw is really upset by that simulation, John. I know you didn't care because it wasn't real but she does and it was real to her, so if you could, when you are awake, can you just call her. She lost Root and has been paranoid about being anywhere near you for extended periods because she doesn't want to hurt you. I think hearing from you alive and well after you destroyed Samaritan will help heal some of her psychological scars," she requested.

Joss shifted conversation away from Samaritan and onto mundane things as she told him about his sports teams and who was winning. She kept talking until she felt hoarse and still he didn't awaken.

"Come on John; I really need to see those eyes again. Not that your long thick eyelashes aren't nice but nothing compares to those damn captivating eyes you have. They truly are windows to your soul as I always know what you're feeling when I stare into them. You probably don't even know that they were what got to me when we first met and I couldn't get them out of my head. They haunted me night and day. And they still get to me too. Did you know they get dark when you're aroused or angry? Or when you're close to crying they are big and bright and nearly glow. But when you smile they just sparkle and twinkle."

Joss stopped speaking for a moment wishing he'd just magically awaken but he didn't. She knew he had to be under some serious pain meds that were sedating him but selfishly she wanted him up. Eight long days without him had been unbearably painful; the not knowing tore her apart.

She leaned close so that she rested her chin near his ear. "I promise you that I will make you smile for the rest of your life; not just so that I selfishly can see your eyes twinkle the way they do that seriously rivals the stars in the night's sky but because you deserve to be happy." she whispered. "I know you felt like you had the most to make up for but you saved the world as we know it; I think that makes up for everything you believe you need to atone for. And you've always wanted normal; well, darling, I can give you normal. I'll yell at you to take out the garbage or put the seat down when you forget. You'll cook and I'll clean up the dishes; I mean it's only fair since you're the better cook. But you got to admit, John, I make mean chocolate chip cookies; how many times did I catch your hand literally in the cookie jar?"

After a while Joss grew quiet and basked in his presence. As much as she wanted him awake she wanted him to heal and rest would do that. Joss dozed off a little, while sitting in the chair with her hand resting on his and her face nestled in his neck, as she hadn't slept well in eight days, only getting an hour or so each night. She was startled awake with the sound of the door opening.

"You must be Joss…."

She turned trying to blink away the sleep and watched as a nurse and a doctor enter his room. Joss winced as she tried to stretch her back and wasn't sure how the doctor knew her but she forced a small smile. Neither was familiar so not a former number as she stood up to make way for the nurse to check on John. "I am," she agreed as she held out her hand to the doctor.

The doctor took it. "It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Aashi Patel. Your John is quite the fighter. There aren't many that can come in shot five times and live to tell the tale. He had a rough go of it when he first came in but he's holding his own now," she said softly.

Joss felt her heart stop. Five times?—was that including the graze she assumed was at his temple? "What happened?" she forced out.

"When he came in, he flatlined twice but we managed to get him back. We don't believe he suffered any brain damage; the longest he was gone was the first time we brought him back at sixty seconds. But time will tell when he awakens. He is under heavy sedation to control the pain he is in. We don't need him doing more harm than good with restlessly moving. His insides need time to heal."

Joss fought the urge to panic. Sixty seconds was a long time to go without oxygen to the brain. But she couldn't worry about that until John awoke. So she focused on what else the doctor said. "How bad?"

"He took two gunshot wounds to his chest in total. Another bullet grazed his temple and the other grazed his arm, neither of those were too serious, they just required stitches. He also took a bullet in the leg that cracked his femur, his thigh bone. We've operated once on it, but it'll require future surgery again. One of the wounds to the chest didn't hit anything vital but tore through tissue and muscle and lodged itself near his spine. It doesn't appear to have paralyzed him since the agents with him, when he was brought in, told me that he was able to climb a rope ladder. But that bullet near his spine will need to come out, it could move or shift and things would get bad really fast.

The doctor continued as if she wasn't ripping Joss's heart in pieces, "The other bullet did a lot of damage as it ricocheted through his body. It hit a rib, tore through his lung collapsing it and was deflected downward into for far more serious injuries. It punctured his spleen which required emergency surgery to remove it or he'd have bled to death before going on to nick his kidney which put it in serious jeopardy so we had to go in to see if we could salvage it or remove it. But luckily our team is one of the best in the nation and was able to save his kidney."

"I understand he had to climb that rope ladder to survive. I have no idea how he did it. One bullet would have stopped the average man. But this man certainly isn't average. He must have something he really wanted to come home to." Dr. Patel concluded with a knowing look her way.

Joss froze as the doctor listed and went through his injuries. Her gaze shifted from her to John and more tears welled up in her eyes. It was even a miracle he was here knowing he had to climb up the rope ladder himself to save himself because he promised her he'd come back to her nearly broke her down. She bit her lip to keep from crying like a baby. "Yes, he promised to come back to me and he always keeps his promises."

The doctor gently touched her arm. "He has lots of work ahead of him as the bullets caused lots of damage and we do not know to what extent just yet but with time and effort he should make a full recovery." she said softly.

"I know. I'm just thankful he's alive." she whispered forcing the tears at bay as she looked back at the doctor. "Thank you for saving him; I can't even express how much I appreciate all that you have done."

"It's what we do. I don't think he'll be a very patient patient though and you'll have to help keep him from overdoing it," the doctor added.

"Oh, he will be a challenge to keep down, but I'm up to it. He knows better than to cross me," she said, rubbing John's arm softly.

Joss watched as the nurse finished up with John. "I'm staying here tonight," she said firmly. She knew that the doctor could give her a tough time but she'd fight tooth and nail. She wasn't leaving him. If she was kicked out then she'd camp outside of his door. She'd stay there all night if she had too.

Dr. Patel smiled warmly. "We understand that your fiancé has been missing for eight days and the FBI just notified you that he was found. I was briefed by the two agents that we needed to keep who was brought in quiet for his protection. It is why we listed him as 'John Doe'; and only they, select nurses, myself, Mr. Logan Pierce-his best friend, and you are allowed in here. It was requested that John be placed in a semi-private room with two beds but no other patient is allowed in here so you could bunk in the spare bed," the doctor explained.

Joss colored her surprise. It seemed the machine did a good job of coming up with a cover story so far. "Oh, well I hope to thank these _agents_ sometime soon." she said. How the hell did Harper Rose get a FBI badge before her? And of course they claimed Pierce of John's best friend, the man didn't try to hide his intense man-crush on him.

The short Indian doctor smiled again. "You look tired, perhaps you should take a nap. But please do not climb in bed with him!" she admonished decisively.

 _Was she reading my mind of what I wanted to do?_ Joss thought. She nodded, not about to do anything to rock the boat as long as she got to stay by John's side then she didn't care if she slept on the floor. She watched the nurse and the doctor leave before turning to sit down by John's side again.

She rested a hand on his. "Guess what John…we're apparently engaged now. I missed the proposal." she joked. "I bet you would fumble your way through one and I'd have to say yes before you even manage to string the words together."

Her phone rang and there could only be two people who would be calling right now; her son or the machine. And she knew her son was in class. Joss glanced around searching for the camera but didn't see one. She tugged her phone out and saw it was the same unknown number that called her earlier.

She moved away from John and into the corner of the room, nearest the door to answer it. "How is he Joss?" the machine asked.

"Holding his own, how can you see me?"

"The flowers are from me."

Joss looked around and found a table in the other corner of the room, near the rectangular window, and saw a large bouquet in a cream-colored glass vase. But the 'Get Well Soon' stick was cockeyed, facing directly at John's bed was telling. The machine wasn't smooth on its desire to keep an eye on John.

"It's for John to say: get well and thank you for saving me," the machine explained.

"I assume I have you to thank for the room?" she wondered.

"Yes. I gave my assets instructions on what needed to be done; I assumed you would want to be with John. I wanted to make you as comfortable as possible."

"Thanks. How are we going to explain how Detective John Riley got shot up five times?" she asked as her eyes caressed John.

"Leave that to me."

Joss sighed. "You know I used to tell Finch and John to not tell me when they were going to hack or do something illegal. So that goes for you too; please don't tell me when you're going to do something that falsifies things. Just do it but don't tell me," Joss retorted.

The machine gave let out a short laugh. It was still weird hearing Root's voice and laughter coming from the machine. "I'll remember that. I promise everything will be official and no one will ever know it's not the truth. John will be viewed as a hero that he is."

"As long as he's protected I don't care," Joss assured Root. After that they hung up and Joss slid into the chair near John once more, laid her head near his shoulder and slept.

* * *

Everything hurt as slowly the world came back in fuzzy but painful bits and pieces. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to think. John struggled to remain conscious as every part of his body throbbed and the deep dark abyss called to him but he refused to give in. Survival dictated that he remain conscious, but what happened?—nothing came to mind. But whatever did, it left him feeling like he had been hit by a train and dragged for several miles.

He struggled to open his eyes and it was just too difficult at the moment. So he tried to focus on something else to ignore the pain throbbing through him: Joss.

Where was she?—wait, she was waiting for him to come back. From what he couldn't remember, things were frustratingly just out of reach, his memories were chipped and cracked, coming back to him in jagged pieces but not painting a whole picture. He let his mind slip back to Joss because she comforted him.

How did he ever become lucky enough to have her in his life? She was his heaven and his hell and his everything in between. Joss was his first thought when he awoke and the last when he went to sleep. Joss was like the blood racing through his veins; fundamentally necessary for his survival. If he didn't have her there would be no reason to live. And as clichéd as it sounded even to his jaded ears; Joss was the reason his heart would even beat. He would do anything for her; love for her, fight for her, die for her, and would live for her too.

" _Promise me!"_

" _You have my word,"_

" _I'm holding you to that."_

Memories flooded his consciousness like a raging storm; his final battle with Samaritan, the rooftop, talking to Finch as he waited to die, hoping he had managed to ask Finch to tell Joss that he loved her and that he was sorry that he didn't keep his promise. John had been shot a few times as he fought with Samaritan agents to keep them at bay. The first one hurt like a bitch, the second less so, and the third he had been numb too. Surely he had lived through his battle with them because being dead wouldn't hurt this fucking much. It felt like someone had fileted him so that even his toenails hurt.

John once again struggled to open his eyes. He didn't know where he was but he had promised Joss he would come back for her; she was waiting for him. He'd crawl to her if he had too.

"John," He paused as if he conjured her voice up. "John just relax." she purred and his body melted as if by her command. And almost like magic the pain subsided a bit. "Take your time to open your eyes for me." he was helpless to resist her. Anything she wanted he would do it.

Joss stood by him as he was restless. They had taken the tube out of his throat the day before and he was now breathing on his own and his pain medications were slowly be scaled back until he woke up. She desperately needed him awake. In another ten or fifteen minutes Kim, John's nurse, would be back for another dose of pain meds that would sedate him. It had been three days since she came and took up residence here with him. She had been living off of fast food and Starbucks coffee or the gross stuff from the hospital's vending machine. Taylor had come and gone a few times bringing her fresh clothes and forced her out of his room to go outside for some fresh air.

She stood by him, holding his hand as she patiently waited, watching his eyes flutter open, before snapping shut against the light, to try again mere seconds later. The second time they opened he managed to keep them open as he looked around wildly before finding her. His eyes were glassy from the pain and drugs but they were finally open and looking at her.

Joss smiled as tears blurred her vision. "Hey you…"

"Joss," he whispered, nearly embarrassed that it was all he could muster at the moment.

She cried, she was trying not to, but she couldn't help it. Hearing her name from his lips was heaven sent. Joss bent over him resting her face in his neck and cried.

John struggled to touch her, to soothe her, and grew frustrated when he could hardly move without feeling exhausted. But he managed to ensnare her fingers with his. "Joss, don't cry." he said lowly, gruffly, like his voice hadn't been used in years.

They stayed like that for several moments until she pulled away with red puffy eyes and a wobbly smile on her face. "Thank you for coming back to me."

"Thank you for waiting."

Joss rubbed her fingers of her other hand through his hair. "I'll always wait for you John," she vowed, voice dangerously close to cracking but she spoke slowly so it wouldn't. She had already upset him once by crying as hard as she just did, if the spike of his heart rate on his monitor was any indication.

"Did it work?"

"If you are asking if you saved the machine and destroyed Samaritan then yes, you did. You're a bonafide hero. The machine is back up and operational, sending Shaw and its other assets numbers once more," Joss reassured him. Of course John cared about everyone else but himself.

"Harold?" he rasped.

The concern in his soft voice for the machine turned to stark fear that something happened to Finch. She wanted to soothe that anguish immediately. "Finch is safe, John. He's actually in Italy to be with Grace. Harold doesn't know that you survived or at least he didn't hear it from me. Last time we spoke there was no word on your whereabouts or if you were even alive. And I have no way of contacting him."

John closed his eyes as the pain throbbed through him. "Good." he whispered. "Harold deserves to be with her." his eyes snapped open and he looked upset again. "Fusco?"

"Safe. He got injured but nothing that can take down Lionel. I called both Shaw and Lionel to let them know you are alive and kicking, and they can't wait to see you again." she replied and watched him relax a little. Now it was her turn to ask him some questions now that she had him awake a little. "What do you remember?"

"Some. I was holding Samaritan agents at bay and being shot."

Joss nodded and asked; "Do you remember your rescue?" He barely shook his head no in answer. "The machine sent in Harper, Logan, and Joey to save you. Logan flew his helicopter while Joey picked off Samaritan agents to protect you while Harper sent down a rope ladder for you to climb before the missile struck."

He closed his eyes and tried to conjure up the scene Joss spoke of but nothing came to mind. "I don't remember," he whispered.

"It's okay John. You're in pain and maybe you even blacked it out, who knows. But Harper said you saved yourself by climbing that rope ladder until they could help pull you into safety and as you went up you repeated my name and the fact that you promised you'd come back to me."

He opened his eyes and looked at her. She could see he was in intense physical pain and she wondered where Kim was. "Joss, I'd do anything for you," he whispered roughly.

"I love you, John."

"You have no idea how much I love you, Joss."

Tears welled up even against her best efforts. "Oh, I think I do know," she replied as she let her fingers slide from his hair and to cup his cheek.

Joss cleared her throat and stood up at the sound of the door opening and John's nurse, Kim, entered. "Well hello there, John," Kim greeted sweetly. "I didn't realize you were awake. Your pain meds must have worn off."

"No drugs." he forced out as he watched her move towards his IV.

"Hush you, you need them," Joss reprimanded.

Kim smirked. "He's going to be one of those patients, eh?"

"John's going to be your worst patient ever, especially when he's feeling a little better," Joss assured Kim, grateful to laugh a little. She hadn't had anything to laugh about in a long time.

John moaned as he could feel the pain medication take effect almost immediately as his eyelids felt heavy and the pain that throbbed everywhere at once began to dissipate. He could hear Joss talking to the nurse but he couldn't quite catch what they were talking about.

Then she was back and leaning over him. He struggled against the drugs in his system as sleep called him. "Sleep," Joss insisted as she rubbed her fingers through his hair. "Don't fight it." she bent over and kissed his forehead.

He couldn't even though he wanted too because his eyes drooped close and the world faded to the dark once more.

* * *

AN: I had to split this reunion up into two chapters for two reasons: one, it would be ridiculously long. And two, the next part is half finished so you would have been waiting until next week sometime since I've been a little busy this past week so writing has been fit in like twenty minutes or so here and there. Hopefully this whets the appetite until I can get you the next part.

Anyways thanks for reading! Part 3, and probably final part, will be coming to you sometime next week.


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN: Hopefully FF can post this without problem. The last chapter I posted FF had issues, which was a couple weeks ago so you guys might never have read it or not. This was split due to the length. And I'm not sorry for the complete mushy this is. Carter and Reese deserve mush sometimes.  
**_

* * *

It had been a week and a half since John first woke up. Since then, each day he was awake longer and longer and had two surgeries. The first was to remove the bullet lodged near his spine and the next that followed shortly after was a second surgery to place rods and pins to repair his femur. In that time the machine had helped give John a cover story that explained how he was injured and why he was off on leave. Since it was announced that John had helped the FBI take down a human trafficking ring, because of his ties he had accrued from his fictional tenure as a Narc Detective in the Bronx that got him the tip from a 'C.I.', where a supposed shootout erupted and he got injured risking his life to protect an unidentified woman from being abducted, an influx of flowers and well wishes came pouring in. John had been uncomfortable with the attention but she was glad. The circumstances might not be true, but John truly saved a lot of people's lives when he saved the machine and destroyed Samaritan, so he deserved to be treated as a hero.

Joss entered his hospital room after heading home for a shower and more fresh clothes. She left him when Ben came to force John to go for a walk down the hospital hallway. Poor John had lots of physical therapy to go through to repair all the damage done but with time he would recover, maybe he'd never be as good as new, but he'd be darn close to it. But she had known that the increased activity was going to leave John exhausted so she had time to go home and get some things done before heading back to the room.

She smiled when she walked in; he was awake, alert, and alone. His blue eyes weren't so glassy or tired looking. His face wasn't sunken in anymore. He was still pale and he had lost quite a bit of weight but he was looking the best she'd seen him in days. And she had been right; John was a bear of a patient. He wasn't pleased receiving sponge baths in the beginning. He certainly complained about his lacking diet. And he definitely pissed and moaned about the catheter in his bladder until it was removed a couple days ago. Now he grumbled about the walk to and from the bathroom because he was so weak and in pain, needing a walker and an escort. The nurses, specifically; Kim and Leyla, loved to tease the giant bear as they helped him move around.

Though one thing he didn't complain about was the shower access he now had since the bullet near his spine was removed. She never seen someone so excited about a shower as John had been. And the beard he had growing was thankfully now gone, thanks to a nice shave that she had tried to do for him but the stubborn mule wanted to do it himself. Joss had relented because he wasn't allowed to do anything by himself and she knew what it felt like having everyone coddle you. She'd been there and done that herself, John hadn't pushed her when she was shot and she wouldn't do it either.

"You're up," she stated the obvious.

"Get me out of here." he pleaded.

She bent gently kissing him before sitting down beside him very gingerly, not wanting to agitate his already injured body. "Can't. They want to keep an eye on you for another few days to make sure you don't get an infection. Besides why would you want to leave?—you have people waiting on you hand and foot. Because trust me; I won't be."

"I want to leave _because_ I have people waiting on me hand and foot," he complained dryly. "The food is terrible here. First all I got was ice chips and Jell-O and now the tiny portioned meals they said I can have tastes like cardboard but is considered a delicacy if you ask Kim. I'd rather eat your meals."

Joss cocked a brow up. "Are you seriously saying my home cooked meals are barely better than hospital grub?" she asked. She had desperately missed this; their banter, their back and forth that had been there since the beginning.

"Of course not; I just meant…"

"What?" she demanded, not helping him out of the hole he dug himself into.

John looked at her and exhaled. "You know this isn't any way to treat a man that's recuperating, Joss."

"Uh-huh, I'll just tell Kim to give you green Jell-O since the red kind isn't up to snuff in your book," she stated with mock anger and received the biggest puppy dog eyes she ever seen on him. She huffed when it got her hook, line, and sinker, even though she had been trying to tease him. "Fine, I agree; that punishment doesn't fit the crime."

"How about when I get released from prison I take you to your favorite Thai restaurant?" he suggested seeing her struggle with trying to not smile, giving it away that she wasn't really angry about his inept comment about her home cooking. Joss truly wasn't a bad cook but rather she was limited in what she knew how to cook well. Very limited.

John wished to see more of her beautiful smile though. His entire body hurt like a bad toothache but especially his chest, leg, and back. He grew weak and exhausted quickly, angering him. Every little movement he made required maximum use of his strength and was accompanied with pain. But what made everything better was this woman. When he had been awake for longer than a couple minutes he had noticed a change in her and one he didn't like. Joss had always been petite, but with curves that attracted him but this was different….she was too skinny now. Last time he saw her so thin had been just after she was shot and forced on her own lacking diet of IV fluids and ice chips. Since he was awake and steadily progressing he had noticed that she was looking slightly better. He wanted to see some weight gain but until she wasn't stressed with him in the hospital and got to sleep in her own bed than he had to be patient.

Joss shrugged. "Does that offer include some sort of dessert?—because if not, then no dice. I mean you compared my meals to cardboard cutouts."

He laughed softly which hurt but felt good in a way too. "Of course. No evening out is complete without dessert. And I have a hankering for _ChickaLicious Dessert Bar's_ chocolate tarts." he admitted.

She smiled dreamily. Oh yes, those chocolate tarts; watching John eat chocolate of any kind was like watching porn but watching John eat that chocolate tart had been orgasmic. Because he moaned and licked his lips a lot, sucked his fingers, and she had given him hers just to see the production all over again. John's sexy display superseded chocolate any day of the week. Joss was afraid she'd come in the car with just watching him. She wasn't the type to do it at anytime and anywhere but that night she had almost pulled them over in some tucked away alley of some kind and have sex in the backseat of her car. They barely made it in her place before clothes were being torn off. It was definitely the first time she ever had sex up against the front door.

Joss sighed because she missed making love to him and missed snuggling up against him, feeling his arms wrapped around her at night. But they had forever for that.

"What's with that smile?" he asked.

Joss looked him in the eyes. "Just thinking about the fact that we have forever for me to feel your arms wrapped around me at night and holding me; I like the sound of it," she said instead. No point in telling him how much she wanted to make love to him. They had a little while before he would be even allowed to have sex. His health was more important than their sex life.

"Me too," he seductively whispered.

Was it time that she broached the subject of what he wanted to do now? Joss reasonably couldn't see John working the numbers. His body was tapped out and there wasn't any way to tell, even with physical therapy and time, if he would be physically the same as he had been before the takedown of Samaritan. Then there was the fact that Harold left to be with Grace in Italy. Shaw and the new assets to the machine could work the numbers without problem. If they needed occasional help then he could give an assist or her and Fusco.

But she wasn't going to push. Joss knew what working the numbers was to John and she would never put him in the position to choose between her and saving the numbers. It wasn't fair to John or her.

"So…"

It was his turn to cock a brow up before he asked; "What's on your mind, Joss?"

"Well, is the man in the suit gonna hang it up or after he's rehabbed is he gonna kneecap some more?" she asked quietly, trying to keep her tone neutral.

John looked away and stared up at the ceiling. What did he want to do? He wasn't sure anymore. If he was asked this same question a few weeks ago, before the takedown of Samaritan, he would have easily answered: kneecap some more. But now...now he wasn't so sure. Saving people was second nature, a calling. He never thought he could turn it off or hand off the baton to anyone. That had been before; before he woke up in this hospital bed feeling like death and seeing Joss crying as hard as she had. He hadn't meant anything to anyone in such a long time that putting his life on the line had been an easy choice. If he died than no one would care or know. Give a life to save a life, but now…now he mattered to someone. And she meant everything to him.

"John?"

"I don't know Joss," he admitted. She was cautiously optimistic that he was giving serious consideration to his health and well-being for the first time since she's known him. John shifted his gaze back onto her. "What do you think?"

Joss balked. "I can't answer that for you," she said instantly with a shake of the head.

"No, you can't. But your opinion matters to me."

Joss clenched her teeth. "It's best I say nothing. It's your decision and yours alone, John. Whatever you want you know I'm with you on it."

"Please Joss," he said, reaching over and stroking her hand

She hesitated for a moment before saying; "Alright, I'll tell you my opinion but only if you promise that whatever you decide to do is true to yourself and what you want, not what I want."

"You have my word…"

She nodded curtly. "I think it's time for you to stop. I know what working these numbers is for you. It's not an adrenaline rush or just something to do with your time. It's in you. It's who you are; saving people is like breathing for you, John. But you've saved everyone, including the machine from Samaritan because who knows what that bad super computer would have done if it wasn't stopped. It was already killing people and making it look like suicides because they questioned things, so they were considered as deviants and removed. You nearly sacrificed your life for the sake of everyone else's; I think that's more than enough to atone for sins of your past," she said in a rush, hoping she explained her stance well enough without upsetting him. But he didn't look upset but rather just listened. "But as I said, it's up to you," she reiterated.

He had a feeling this was what her opinion would be. Joss never said a word one way or another but when he showed up to her place with a graze or a bruise, she'd get this look on her face. He'd kiss her and tell her it was a way for her to pamper him. She'd force a smile and pretend she was fine with it. He knew she wasn't, she knew she wasn't, but she never pushed. Today she still wasn't pushing. It was ultimately his choice. His decision. She was just offering her opinion because he had asked for it. Could he give up working the numbers and live a truly normal existence as he always wanted? He wasn't so sure he could. John hadn't had normal since he was seventeen years old. He swallowed hard as he tried to figure out what he wanted.

Joss watched him. So many emotions flickered across his face and eyes she nearly couldn't keep up with them. She felt bad for him.

"You don't have to decide just this minute," she reminded gently. He looked at her once more. "You have time. John, you have months of healing and physical therapy to go through before you would be off the DL on Team Machine."

A tiny smile flickered on his face. "It's so hot when you use sports terminology."

She snickered. "You get a little hot under the collar when I use legalize on you too," she reminded warmly.

"You're just hot," he whispered.

"Cool it, sex is not an option." she chided but with a smile, then groaned when the door opened. God, they were _still_ getting interrupted. Joss got to her feet to see who was coming in. Harper Rose and Joey Durban entered sans Pierce. "Hey Agents Castille and Randall," she deadpanned.

Joey shrugged but Harper smirked. "Stings doesn't it, Carter?"

"That you have a FBI's badge and I don't?—I'm over it. I am Captain of the 8th."

"Plus you got to boss your boyfriend around," Harper snickered.

Joss folded her arms across her chest. "Actually, when I first became his boss he was still trying to pull the 'it's best you stay away from me' crap. Thankfully it was short lived," she retorted.

"Yea, he has the hero complex with a side of brooding thing down to an art. But it's no match for your big brown eyes. I bet he was putty in your hands."

John glowered. "I'm still here," he commented lowly.

The door to his room opened again and Logan appeared carrying a black gift bag. "Hey bestie, how ya feeling?" he asked loud as always, his usual grin on his face. Logan quite possibly was the most annoying man she ever met with an ego as big as his bank account, but whenever he was around John he acted like a lovesick puppy who just wanted attention.

John let out a slow suffering sigh. "Stop calling me that," he requested gruffly.

"Sure thing, bro."

Joss hid a chuckle with a cough at the deadly look in John's eyes. "Hey Logan, whenever you're around his blood pressure skyrockets." she greeted.

"I have that effect on people," Logan said with a wink before facing her fully. "My Joss, you're exquisite as always."

"What are you guys doing here?" John wondered wanting them to leave so he could be with Joss alone.

Logan was practically dancing from foot to foot, unable to stand still. Joss wouldn't be surprised to find out that he had ADHD. "We got a new number that requires us in Texas, so we must bid a fond farewell," he announced.

Harper nodded. "Yea, we have lifted the protection you were placed under now that the story is out in the media about your heroic act."

Joss smiled. "I've been fielding calls as his Captain, giving Detective Riley a ringing endorsement and declining local news interviews on his behalf," she agreed before focusing her attention on John. "But Taylor is going to be stoked he can finally actually enter your room to see you rather than just a phone call," she murmured.

"Also I wanted to give you a gift from all of us." Logan said as he set the decent sized black gift bag near John's feet. "It's just a little something something to show our appreciation for saving the world as we know it and our favorite A.I."

John narrowed his gaze on Logan. "Is it another million dollar watch that can tell time to the nanosecond with a GPS tracking chip in it?" he asked innocently.

"Whoa! You gave John a million dollar watch before?! What am I getting for Christmas?—hint I don't want a watch that can tell time to the nanosecond. I'm thinking a Bentley," Harper supplied.

"I'd be good with that too or an Aston Martin," Joey added.

Joss shook her head as the three said goodbye. Once they left she sat down beside him once more. "So, are you going to open your gift?" she asked as the bag he was given sat untouched near his feet.

He sighed. "I'm not sure I want to know what Logan got me."

"Well I do so open it."

Joss watched him struggle to reach for the bag and she moved to help but stopped at the look she received. She held her hands up in silent surrender. John managed after a few minutes but looked exhausted. He cursed.

"John you were shot twice in the chest. It's gonna take time for you to get your strength back." she scolded angrily. This was what she was fearing most; that he was going to hurt himself because he pushed himself too far because he grew impatient with his progress.

"I know," he whispered. "It's just…tough."

"You're preaching to the choir, John; I get it; I was where you are after taking a bullet to the chest from Simmons. But what did you tell me when I was crabbing about how slow I felt like I was progressing?—that I have to be patient and that it will come back, I just needed time to heal. Well, the same goes for you. You will be back to your old form but give yourself some time."

He sighed as he relaxed a little. "Using my own words against me."

She shrugged with a small smile. "They were, for once, words of wisdom. Now open your bag, John, I want to know what your fanboy got you."

"He's not my fanboy."

She snorted. "Logan is as bad as Walter," she teased. "But I like Walter better; he was sweet and kind of cute in his own way, and he's not an ego maniac."

John paused from opening the bag. "Should I be worried?" he jokingly asked.

Joss feigned to mull it over. "Probably not, because I'm pretty sure Walter's taken by now," she teased back. She gently swatted his good leg. "Now stop stalling and open it!"

John quietly did as she asked and opened the bag to pull out a light rectangular box. "Well at least it's not another watch." he murmured. It actually felt rather light to be anything too expensive or at least he hoped.

"A _million_ dollar watch, who gets someone that expensive of a gift without wanting to impress the person?" Joss added.

"Actually it was two million," John corrected. Joss made an 'I told you so' face but he just ignored it. He opened the rectangular box and blinked in surprise when it held a folded up piece of paper. He unfolded it and was surprised to find it was a receipt before smiling.

"Come on, don't leave a girl hanging, what did Logan get you?"

John handed it to her. "It's two tickets to Italy dated for a couple months from now."

Joss looked at the printed out receipt that had an address scribbled on the bottom and then to John's eyes that had misted over. Logan had gotten them Harold's address and the plane ride there. "This is way better than a two million dollar watch," she said softly. Now she might have to rethink thinking Logan was a pompous jackass.

"It most certainly is," John whispered gruffly.

* * *

"Don't move John!" Taylor called out and rushed out of the living room. John sighed as the teen was out of sight before he had even a chance to say he would get up to go get his own bottle of water.

He had been sprung from the hospital two weeks ago and steadily growing stronger. Taylor and Joss had been taking him to physical therapy three times a week; the teen instead of hanging out with friends or his dad after class, came to cater to his every need even if he didn't want the kid to. Taylor was almost as stubborn as his mother.

Joss grinned as she stood behind John as he sat on her couch with his legs stretched out and she gave his shoulders a nice massage. They were knotted tight from all the strain he had gone under this latest physical therapy session. He was growing stronger but also impatient. He had gained most of the weight he lost back and the muscle mass would return soon too. But John still complained about the pain in his back and leg. Dr. Patel had brought him in for a checkup and was happy with the progress. So was she.

He moaned softly as she found a particularly tight spot and gently massaged it away. "You have magic hands," he mumbled in paradise with his eyes closed.

Joss leaned down so her mouth was near his ear. "I recall you saying my mouth was pretty amazing too," she purred.

He stiffened as he shifted so he could look up at her, over his shoulder, awkwardly. "Careful Joss, your teenage son is here and I haven't been cleared for…active duty yet."

"You will be and when you are I'll show you how magical my hands can really be."

Taylor reentered the room carrying the bottled water for John and smirked as his mom immediately straightened and looked like he had caught her doing something wrong. "Here you go, John,"

"Thanks Taylor but I could have gotten it on my own," he said as he took the bottle of water, immediately snapping the cap open and chugging a healthy portion of it.

"Yea, you could have but I was up anyways," Taylor admitted before looking at his mom. "I'm gonna head out. Dad wants to have a guys' night out; just him and me."

She nodded. "Are you gonna stay over with him?"

"Yea, I don't have to get up early for class tomorrow," he explained before pressing a kiss to her cheek and he gently touched John's shoulder. "See you tomorrow, John."

"See you Taylor."

"Bye mom, love you."

"Love you too."

Taylor was gone in a flash leaving it just her and John. She kept up her massage, loving how John just melted under her ministrations. "Have you given any thought as to what you are going to do?" she asked.

"About?"

"About Detective John Riley, what are you going to do with the alias?" she clarified.

He sighed as he reached up and rested his hands on hers on his shoulders. She rounded the couch and helped him move so she could sit beside him. "I don't know what to do with it, Joss."

"Well you should know; I'm through sneaking around, John. We had to do that because of Samaritan and Decima, but thanks to you Samaritan is in some recycling yard while Decima has been annihilated, so now every move we make won't necessarily be our last. The man-in-the-suit is nothing anymore, really hasn't been anything since Donnelly's demise; you're just 'John' to the world."

John stared at her and her wish wasn't unreasonable. They had to hide their relationship ever since they became more than just friends after she was gunned down by Simmons. First he had to live in the shadows because he was supposedly dead, then Samaritan was up and operational, and he became her subordinate. This was the first time they could truly have a conventional relationship where there were no smoke and mirrors, no parlor tricks; just her and him, just John and Joss. But there was just one obstacle in their way of that: his alias.

"If you don't want to sneak around then my alias needs to be dissolved somehow," he murmured.

"Or I relinquish my position as Captain of the 8th precinct," she suggested instead, which she had been seriously thinking about doing since she learned John was alive. She had been shunning her responsibilities, taking all her sick days and vacation days to be with him.

He shook his head. "No, you deserve to be the Captain."

She scoffed. "I only got the promotion because of the machine. It wanted to make room for you at the 8th so I could help keep an eye on you to make sure you didn't go rogue and get your identity blown to Samaritan," she challenged. "I didn't earn the job on my merit. I was given it."

"I disagree. The machine might have helped you get the position but you are the best person for the job, Joss."

"Well I guess we should agree to disagree then. John, it's something I've been thinking about for a while now. I haven't exactly been Captain of the year recently. I think I'm going to call in I.A. and tell them I have been seeing you in secret."

"Joss…"

"They'll remove me from my position and give the job to someone who would deserve it."

He reached out to rest a hand on hers. "Don't give up something you love for me because I don't want to be a cop, Joss."

She slid into silence. It didn't really surprise her that he didn't really want to be a cop anymore. But that posed a different question: what did he want to do? "So what do you want then, John? Do you want to still work the numbers? Live in the shadowy world and just rely on aliases to get you by. Because if that's what you want than I'm fine with it; I just don't want to sneak around so if you want to be the man-in-the-suit with an alias, tell me what alias I should tell my friends that I'm in a relationship with."

John wished for a different subject. He didn't like this one right now. He didn't have an answer. He never thought he would have trouble knowing what he wanted to do. It had been easy before: work the numbers until he was dead. But now, now everything was different. The machine was self-governed and had Shaw, along with other assets who were younger than he was, who would willingly work the irrelevant numbers. Then there was the fact that Finch left to go be with Grace, so he wasn't needed to protect his friend any longer.

"I want you," he whispered.

She smiled slightly. "I want you too, John. I love you. But that still doesn't answer my question: what do you want?"

"Actually it does, Joss. I want you; I want to wake up every morning with you and go to bed each night with you. I want to hold you and make love to you. I want to have dinner with you every evening. I don't want to be out working some case and not see you for days on end as before," he said desolately. And the more he spoke the more he wanted a normal life. One that didn't include gunfire, blood, or aliases; because all he saw was this woman.

Joss stared at him. "So what does that mean, John?" she asked very carefully. Joss was afraid to hope that he was saying he was through with the man-in-the-suit routine. There were other ways that he could help people that didn't include getting almost killed every night. But if she was misinterpreting what he was saying and he wasn't through with the numbers than she'd support him.

"It means I think it's time to hang up the suit," he whispered gruffly, feeling naked and raw at the moment. He had used 'John Reese' as a shield for so long that he didn't even know how to be anything or anyone else.

Joss shimmied close, seeing the look in his eyes. "Are you sure, John?—working to save the numbers was a big part of you. Please don't be doing this for me because I don't care if you're a badass vigilante who I have to lay down the law with when he does something illegal or a stay at home dad who tinkers on home improvement projects; I just want you happy."

"I'm no Bob Vila, Joss, and kids aren't in the equation but I'm sure about wanting to hang up the suit," he admitted. "I'm not even sure if I ever really will be the same, physically, after the takedown with Samaritan. I've been John Reese for so long that when the Riley alias came I didn't know how to live in the world. I didn't know what to do with co-workers, paperwork, a rent payment, regulations, work parties…none of it came easy for me. I even paid taxes for the first time in years. And the thought of going back to being a part of the living dead leaves a bitter taste in my mouth."

She quietly listened to him. He looked freer than she had ever seen him. The Reese persona was tying him down like weights on his soul without him even realizing it. Joss allowed her fingers to drift into his hair and couldn't help but feel immensely happy at the moment.

"There are other things you can do to help people without having to be a badass vigilante who lives on the outskirts of life," she assured him.

John nodded. "I have an idea," he offered.

Joss leaned back so she could look him in the eyes. "What?" she asked.

He smiled a little. "You'll see…."

She grinned back. "Are you challenging me to figure it out on my own?—just because I'm Captain of the 8th doesn't mean I've forgotten my roots," she teased.

"You're welcome to try, _Detective_ ," he purred, sending feel-good shivers up her spine.

Joss groaned a little as she leaned her forehead against his. "When's your next doctor's appointment?" she asked suddenly.

"On Thursday, why?"

"Because I'm hoping Dr. Patel clears you for…uh…active duty, if you catch my drift."

John pressed a soft kiss to her lips before wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "So do I, Joss, so do I," he murmured into her ear.

* * *

Thursday came and went and with it Dr. Patel was seriously pleased with his progress. She was also happy from the report that Ben, John's physical therapist, had given John. Not that it surprised Joss because John and Ben had gotten off to a quick start. It seemed Ben knew how to get the most out of John without causing him to overdo it. Perhaps it could be because the two men seemed to have taken to each other; both men were from Washington state, about the same age, had similar interests, including that of being in the Army, and Ben was outgoing so that nudged John out of his shell a little. Joss almost asked the machine if it hand picked him, knowing that Ben's easy going attitude would be exactly what John needed during times that could be difficult. John did get frustrated when his body didn't work the way he wanted it too. But with all the positive reports and a healthy checkup that showed his body was healing as it should; John was cleared to have sex again which they promptly made up for lost time.

She grinned stupidly as she sat at her desk in her office as she thought of that Thursday night. Taylor made himself scarce when she hinted that John had a 'really' good checkup. Taylor, the smart boy he was, got the clue quick, made up an excuse about his dad needing his help, and he was gone. She'd have to buy him that new Apple iPhone he kept begging for.

Their first time making love since everything that went down had been soul-shattering. John held her as she cried afterwards. He wasn't unaffected either, she had seen the tears in his eyes. The second time they made love had been more playful and less serious. And by the end of that John had been sleeping soundly because his body was still recuperating and she watched him sleep. Watching the rise and fall of his chest and listening to his soft snore was almost a lullaby because it helped her drift to sleep. But when morning came she had remembered she hadn't been on her birth control. With everything that happened before they tried to take Samaritan down and then with him going missing she had skipped taking the pill and hadn't gone back doing so since. It hadn't even been a thought with staying at the hospital, then helping him recuperate. At first panic bubbled up inside her until it dissipated as quickly as it came because the thought of having John's baby excited her. But she doubted it would happen; conceiving Taylor had been rough.

"Knock, Knock," came Fusco's voice as the door opened and tugged Joss out of her musings and she sat up a little straight.

"Hey Fusco, right on time,"

Lionel grinned as he took a seat. "How did the checkup go for wonder-boy?" he asked trying to sound cool but he failed.

"John was given a glowing report. He was cleared to have sex again which we celebrated all night of that restriction being lifted," she said with a sappy smile.

"Carter, no particulars please; I do not want the mental picture of Reese and you in bed!" Lionel said with faux indignation, but underneath it he was happy for them. The big guy almost died for everyone and Carter had looked like a walking dead woman without any word on him. He'd never seen her look so-so desolate before. "So when will my partner be back because I'm getting tired of doing all his paperwork and mine?"

Joss smiled a little. She remembered a time when Lionel bitched her out about John being the worst partner ever and how he missed her. Now he was singing a different tune altogether. "About that…John has decided to not come back to the precinct."

"What?—he's the worst cop I ever saw but he's still my partner. I thought I could teach the big guy how to actually be a detective now that the evil computer overlord is destroyed."

She shrugged. "John has given me his two week notice," she explained as she held out the form that John had signed. "And that includes being the man-in-the-suit; John's keeping the Riley alias since it's established but not the job."

"Wonder-Boy doesn't want to be Wonder-Boy anymore?" Fusco asked incredulously.

"No. Shaw and John talked at length the other night about it; he told Shaw if she ever needed his help with any number that he'd be there for her, but he wasn't going to actively work them anymore. John realized that since the machine had employed more than one group that he wasn't necessarily needed anymore. Shaw understood. And since Samaritan was taken down Shaw has finally relaxed a little around John. She can finally heal somewhat over what happened to her."

Fusco nodded. He had noticed a change in Baby Rambo since Samaritan was shut down too. She was more like the Shaw they once knew and not the paranoid one that could barely spare them a glance before she touched her temple as if making sure she wasn't in some sort of simulation.

"So what is the big guy gonna do if it's not being the giant pain in the ass he loved being?"

Joss sighed happily. "He's going to help the homeless. Apparently Finch gave him too much pay when he was the badass in the suit. After Samaritan was destroyed all the assets in the account under his other alias's name was unfrozen, so he could access the funds. He bought this large vacant old building and is going to build a shelter so they can get sleep, food, and he'll set them up with jobs with people he's helped along the way to get them on their feet. John's really excited about this."

Lionel nodded. Well if wonder-boy is happy then that's all that matters. John nearly died saving everyone, so the big guy deserved a little R&R. "So when will I get a new partner?" he asked.

Joss smirked as she saw John's replacement through the blinds on her windows, walking towards her office. "Right now,"

The door opened and Fusco turned to see who it was and he smiled. "You!"

Silva grinned. "Me, although I'm sad that John has decided to retire but I can't say I blame him. Getting gunned down and almost dying while helping the FBI could make anyone rethink being a cop," she agreed. Silva looked at Joss. "I can't thank you enough for choosing me for this position, Captain."

Joss shrugged. "You should thank John; he's the one that suggested you. He said you reminded him of me with the way you wanted to find real answers and how you'd stop at nothing to get justice. John doesn't give his opinions much but he has an extremely high one of you, so of course I'd take a chance on a young detective. Fusco can season you and if you are as good of a cop as John says you are than you'll be fine."

Silva smiled. She had thought there was something going on between Detective Riley and Captain Carter. The tension between them had been suffocating and she certainly never had a man look at her as Riley looked at Carter.

"I'll have to thank him some time," Silva said softly.

She nodded. "Now you two get out of my office and get some work done. I'm sure you have lots of backed up cases to finish up," Joss said which gave Fusco and Silva their cue to get out.

Joss watched the two leave and debated about calling John but she did have her own paperwork to finish up. But before she could, her cell rang. She smiled when she saw it was John. "Hey, bored already?" she teased.

"Actually, I'm not at home."

"Excuse me, where are you?" she asked. Joss knew she had to start relinquishing the leash a little but he wasn't fully healed yet.

"I'll text you the address. I have something to show you."

She hesitated. He sounded happy, no, excited about something. Joss glanced at the clock and saw it was sort of close to noon. "I'll just take my lunch break early," she murmured.

"See you soon, Joss."

They hung up and within seconds she received a text with an address that wasn't that far from here. She exited her office and hurried off. It took about ten minutes to get to the address he gave and she frowned when she saw it.

John was standing outside waiting for her. She wasn't going to miss his man-in-the-suit attire because he was wearing tight jeans and a sweater to combat the cool early Spring air.

"John, you take me to the nicest places," she retorted as she climbed out of her car. Joss recalled the large old vacant building he had taken her to last week to see where he envisioned to create the shelter. The place had blown out windows, graffiti lining the walls, and trash strewn about. It was basically falling apart around their heads. This was a much smaller building attached to a cute little Ma and Pa boutique and in far better condition but in a desperate need of a facelift.

He smiled as he offered his elbow to her. She laughed but took it and allowed him to escort her in. Once they were inside she looked around the large empty room.

She looked to John who was watching her with a smile. "Okay, I'm here but don't know why I'm here. What is this place?" she asked.

"Mine."

She stopped and stared at him. "What?—you bought another building?" she asked incredulous, making sure she heard him right. And when he nodded his head she asked, "Why?"

"This one is for me while the haven is for the homeless to help those who don't have a Joss Carter in their life," he murmured and she melted.

"Oh John…."

He tugged her into his arms. "You saved me and I want to try to save others in a less bloodshed kind of way," he whispered passionately.

"We will. That haven you're creating is going to not only shelter them and feed them, but help them get a job. You're including a free clinic with the help of Megan Tillman so they can access health care too. How could you ever believe you're not a good man is still unfathomable to me," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "No one cares for people as much as you do, John. I know you didn't agree with before but this world needs a man like you in it; especially when it's becoming greedier and greedier with each passing second."

"It's because of you Joss, if I didn't have you I wouldn't be here."

She tightened her hold around his neck as she moved closer so that they touched chest to chest, thigh to thigh, and their lips were inches apart. "I love you. John…."

"I love you too Joss," he breathed as he bent and took her lips with his in a gentle kiss. Joss wanted more, wished for that all consuming hungry kiss, but tender was good too.

He pulled back and rested his hands on her hips. "Not to ruin a perfectly good moment but you still haven't told me what this place is," she commented.

He laughed gently as he stepped back to sweep his arms out wide. "Welcome to Riley's…."

Joss blinked and waited for more because she had no clue what the hell that meant. "Okay, I need more, John," she demanded.

"Come on, _Detective_ ," he teased. She glared and he had the audacity to laugh. "I bought this to make a restaurant."

Her eyes grew wide and then she grinned so hard her face hurt. "You're kidding! I've been telling you that your cooking is the best in the world and you have finally listened to me to share it with the world?!" she stated happily. Joss threw her arms around him as he blushed and she just couldn't help herself as she kissed him hungrily. John looked so happy, so free, and so…alive.

They broke apart and she let John show her around as he explained he wanted intimate but down to Earth so anyone could come in and feel welcome. She liked it and warned him that once Shaw found out he was going to own his own restaurant that she was going to be a daily visitor, he laughed.

"Let's go home; I want to make love to you," he purred.

Joss paused. "John, I can't. I have work. I'm on my lunch break," she admonished and groaned when he gave her his big ole' eyes that were dark and smoky. How could she resist those eyes when she didn't really want to? "I'll just pretend I was at a meeting," she muttered as she let him tug her to the exit but stopped when a sudden thought struck her. "Hold that thought; I have to tell you something."

John stopped at the tone to her voice. It didn't sound teasing but rather upset. "What's wrong?"

"The other night when we had sex…"

"mmm, how can I forget it?" he purred. He had missed the intimacy and he was going to make up for lost time.

"I forgot I haven't taken my birth control in a while," she blurted out, then grimaced at the look on his face. "Everything started going down with Samaritan so our sex life had waned, then you disappeared, and then we were in the hospital and you were recuperating that I just forgot about taking it."

He froze. "Oh…."

"Yea, 'oh,' and it's not exactly a good time to be going unprotected, John, unless me getting pregnant is on your bucket list."

John stared at her and couldn't wipe the vision of her pregnant from his mind. She would be beautiful.

"S-so there's a chance…" he trailed off. Having a child was everything he ever wanted, but Joss didn't. She had raised a child already. And hoping she was pregnant was wrong. It was an accident; it slipped her mind and with everything on her mind it didn't surprise him one bit.

Joss nodded. "Yea, a chance, but before you freak out; when Taylor was conceived it took lots of tries with Paul and we were actively trying to get pregnant," she spoke quickly trying to make sure she didn't panic John. She didn't know what he wanted. He said kids weren't a part of the equation but what if it was an accident. "And if you want the chances to go down some, there is no finishing inside me until I'm back on my birth control regularly."

"And if I want the chances to go up?"

She looked up into his eyes startled. "Do you?—you said kids weren't a part of the equation," she reminded.

John reached out to cup her cheek. "I didn't think you'd want another child, Joss, and you so not gently pointed out I'm old," he murmured with a tiny smile.

"You're not old. I was just saying you were old for being a vigilante, not a father," she retorted, before growing serious. "Honestly, I never thought I'd have another child and not because I never wanted another but because my marriage failed. And I never got to that point of thinking of a future like that with Cal. And then with you; we were always trying to save someone or each other or the world that thinking about children was the furthest from my mind. I was just focused on living to see another day with you and Taylor."

He stared into her eyes. "How about we not worry about the lack of birth control?—if it happens it happens," he suggested.

She smiled. "Leave it up to fate on whether or not I get pregnant?" she questioned. He did realize he wasn't shooting blanks, right?

He returned the heartfelt smile. "Fate never steered us wrong before; it keeps bringing us back together."

"Where we belong," she tacked on as she wrapped her arms around his midsection. She kind of liked the idea of letting fate decide on whether or not their relationship would evolve one more time. It took a while to get pregnant with Taylor and she had been much younger than now, so there was no telling if it would happen for them. But she liked the gamble. "Take me home to make love to me."

John pulled back and took her hand. She smiled as they walked out hand in hand.

* * *

AN: The restaurant was due to a conversation with ravenhusker. Although I'm still partial to writing a new AU with John as a chef or something but this works for now :) I'll post the other part to this soon. Oh, and Elaine talked me into writing one last chapter and I think I'm going to go full on mush mode for it...maybe :D

Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Fourteen Weeks Later…

Joss let her eyes drift around the beautifully and elegantly decorated grand banquet room at the ritzy Plaza Hotel where the wedding reception was taking place, so much so that she actually felt like a princess attending a ball rather than a wedding. She was certainly dressed up to be at one because the silver strapless gown she was wearing was made for fairytales if you asked her. Her hair was curled with a side bang, pinned back with a faux diamond clip.

Grace, the bride, was stunning in a simple gold gown because she felt she was too old for white. She was quite possibly the most beautiful woman in the world. Grace and Harold flew into New York for two weeks for their wedding. All their friends lived in New York so instead of flying everyone to Italy, even though Harold wanted too, Grace chose to have their wedding here instead.

They had gone to visit Harold and Grace in Italy thanks to Logan Pierce's parting gift. It was clear Harold had no clue that John had survived and the reunion had been unexpected, emotional, but also filled with joy. Harold asked John to be his best man and she never had seen John so touched before.

Her thoughts were interrupted when obnoxious chewing sounds brought her back to where she was and who she was with. Shaw.

Joss eyed the woman who was scarfing down the chocolate covered almonds that sat in the Waterford dish on their table. Shaw was beautifully dressed in a simple black dress and her long brown hair was down, for once.

"Why are they starving us, Carter? I want cake!" Shaw snapped as she threw back a handful of the almonds.

Joss rolled her eyes. "Maybe it's because dinner was just served, Shaw," she replied simply.

"Take it easy, Bruiser, or you won't have any room for that giant cake Harold paid a small fortune for," Harper, who sat in an eye-popping blue dress, spoke as she tried to tug the dish away from Shaw.

Shaw shot her a dark look and Harper held up her hands in surrender and Shaw immediately tugged it back and dug her hand in for more.

She half listened to the group conversation between Shaw, Harper, Joey, and Pierce as they talked about some of their more recent exhilarating cases they worked. Her eyes were in search for her tall, dark, sexy and highly awkward boyfriend. She found him easily talking to Lionel, his bowtie crooked from all his fiddling. John stuck out like a devilishly handsome sore thumb. He put every other man in the room to shame in his tailored tuxedo. But the reason he stuck out wasn't just because he was the sexiest man in the room but because he looked so damned uncomfortable. John wasn't one for big social settings and he tried to blend in with the background, but being the best man kind of put a hole in that plan. Their wedding wasn't huge, simply lots of friends, mostly on Grace's side, but John looked like a deer caught in headlights when it was his turn to give a toast. He wasn't a public speaker and putting voice to his feelings wasn't one of the things John excelled at. So she had swooped in to save him from embarrassment, speaking how they felt towards Harold and Grace for him. John mouthed 'thank you' to her the moment everyone cheered from her toast.

But he needn't to worry because she'd always have his back. John was completely healed from his ordeal; it had taken months but he looked good and the happiest she'd ever seen him.

"So Carter…."

Joss dragged herself out of her musing and eyed Harper who spoke. "Hmmm?" she sounded, trying to appear as if she was listening to them.

"When are you and John getting hitched?—I mean you two have been playing normal for about three months now," Harper demanded.

"Yes, I'd love to be John's best man," Logan agreed.

Shaw snorted. "No way is he gonna ask you over Finch; he barely likes you."

"Harold and I can be co-best man," Pierce agreed, ignoring Shaw's comment.

Joss listened to them argue back and forth over it as she discreetly drank water instead of the champagne in front of her. She wasn't ready to tell anyone that she was pregnant. John was first before anyone else and she'd been trying to wait for the right time to tell him.

Harper's gaze was on her though. "So?"

She shrugged in answer. "John and I really don't need to be married to know we want to spend the rest of our lives together."

"True, but, I'm sure it would be nice," Harper insisted.

"It would but it's not necessary. I'm happy with how things are; we're living together, he's making a difference in people's lives with The Haven, and his restaurant is almost open for business," she agreed. "Life's great, and we couldn't be happier."

Thankfully discussion over her relationship with John drifted to something else and she wasn't center of attention. Joss waited for attention to be elsewhere to swap her full champagne glass with Shaw's.

"I saw that!"

Joss froze as she looked up and saw Grace and Harold moving to stand in front of their table, having come over to talk with them. She groaned as her eyes were focused on the champagne glasses she had just switched. Damn, she was busted.

Shaw looked at her and then to her now full champagne glass and then back at her with a smirk. "Reese knocked you up, eh?"

She sighed as everyone began talking all at once, happily and getting louder, so much so that she shushed them when John turned to look at their table. "Be quiet, John doesn't know yet, so I'd like it if you keep your voices down," she snapped as she looked around for him.

Harold couldn't quite wipe the smile off his face. "I'm so happy for you and John, Jocelyn. Mr. Reese has always wanted a child but never believed he could have one. When we rescued Leila he told me that it would be nice to have a child and now it seems he will be getting his wish."

"Yea, well, we weren't exactly trying to get pregnant but not actively trying to not either," she admitted with a shrug. "I'm fourteen weeks along."

"You're fourteen weeks along and you still haven't told him?" Grace said in surprise.

Shaw snickered. "I know Reese can be aloof but I think even he'll notice when you start showing."

Joss shook her head. "When I was young I had two miscarriages before I was lucky enough to have Taylor. I wanted to wait until I was far enough along that the risk of miscarriage reduced significantly. There's still a chance but the risk is low. I know in my heart that John wouldn't be able to handle a loss of a child so I decided that if I lost the baby that I'd bear the burden of grief myself," she explained. "I love that man too much to put him through heartbreak like that. It cuts you to the core."

Grace's big blue eyes welled up with tears. "You are truly a special woman, Joss."

She shrugged. "No, I just love John and he has suffered enough loss to last a lifetime," she whispered and then clammed up as John approached.

John furrowed his brows as everyone was staring at him with looks he couldn't define. "What?" he asked uncomfortably.

Joss rolled her eyes as everyone creepily stared at him with disturbing smiles. She couldn't blame John for being weirded out. Even Shaw was giving him a creepy smile.

"Let's dance," she suggested as she climbed to her feet.

John took her hand as he led her out to the dance floor. "Why are they all staring at me with those…looks on their faces?" he asked quietly as he took her into his arms and they slowly swayed together.

She grimaced. "Not sure, maybe they are awed at how sexy you are. I mean Logan's man-crush knows no bounds," she murmured, trying to deflect the weird moment. This wasn't the right moment to tell him that she was pregnant. They were at their friends' wedding, it was their day.

John frowned. Joss looked frazzled and annoyed. Something was on her mind and he wanted to know what. "What's the matter, Joss?" he asked as he tugged her closer.

"Matter?—nothing, I'm in the arms of the man I love, and at a wedding for a good friend. Life's pretty good if I do say so myself," she replied softly.

"Then why do I feel like you are keeping something from me?" he wondered. She sighed as she broke eye contact and leaned her head against his chest. He let them slip into silence as they danced to the slow song. "You can tell me whatever it is."

"Are you happy?" she asked instead.

He stopped dancing to pull back to look her in the eyes. "Happy with you?—Joss, I love you," he said fiercely.

She smiled a little. "I love you too and I know you're happy with me. I meant are you happy not working the numbers anymore?"

They began swaying to the music once more. Joss caught sight of Grace moving over to the DJ and was whispering something in his ear. And when the slow song ended another began. She sighed as she shook her head.

"I thought I would miss it and maybe I do a little but not enough to go back to working the numbers. I've already gotten three men and one woman off the streets and placed into apartments with new jobs that they're flourishing at. I have lined up more interviews for a couple more. And the restaurant I've always wanted is almost open for business," he murmured.

She smiled as she leaned her head back so she could look up in his eyes. "I can't believe you already have reservations booked for opening night," she whispered. It truly showed how much John was liked by everyone he had ever helped. Several of his former numbers had learned of the restaurant and reserved tables beforehand.

"Shaw's to blame. She's telling every former number she runs across."

They drifted into comfortable silence as they danced. Their eyes were locked on each other's as they clung together before her gaze shifted and saw their friends watching with bated breath. She had to tell them or they would.

She looked into John's sparkling blue eyes. "Remember how we discussed about letting fate decide if we were going to get pregnant or not?"

"Yes…."

"Well fate decided," she whispered.

He stopped dancing to stare at her. She saw excitement, fear, and pure unadulterated joy flicker on his face before it was carefully masked. It was his defense mechanism. "Are you saying you're pregnant or not pregnant?" he asked quietly.

"I'm saying I'm pregnant, John."

He tugged her into his arms and held her. She hugged him so tightly as she buried her face into his chest and just breathed him in. A soft tremble wracked him but she didn't say a word but rather simply held him.

He parted and she gave a watery smile as she rubbed his face free of the tears as his hands pressed to her stomach. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Joss chuckled. "Yes, I'm sure if the vomiting wasn't the first clue or the fact that my period has been MIA, the home pregnancy test I took verified things for me. I actually went and saw my doctor to have it confirmed. I'm fourteen weeks along already but I confirmed the pregnancy after four weeks." she explained.

"Fourteen weeks?"

"After fourteen weeks the risk of miscarriage reduces; still there is a chance but not so great. I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't tell you I was four weeks pregnant and then have to tell you I lost our baby," she told him softly, tenderly.

"Joss…"

"No, you can't make me take that back. I'd do anything to protect you as you would do anything to protect me," she stated fiercely. He thinned his lips as he held her hips, but she wasn't going to apologize for protecting him from something that would devastate him. But to lighten things up she decided to tease him. "You definitely have the perfect aim since you got me pregnant on the first try."

He laughed softly as he tugged her close and they just held onto each other, forgetting about the fact that they were on a dance floor. He caught sight of their friends huddled together at the table. Grace and Harold looked like they were crying and were grinning at them.

"They know, don't they?" he murmured.

She sighed as she burrowed into his warmth. "Yea, they caught me trying to swap my full champagne glass with Shaw's near empty one to make it look like I was drinking."

"Now the looks make more sense."

Joss chuckled softly. "They don't know how to play cool, John, and they are excited for us," she admitted.

"Maybe I should pretend I'm angry about it, make them sweat a bit," he commented dryly.

She pulled her head back and shook it. "Don't do that. Harold and Grace don't deserve that sort of scare on their wedding day," she scolded gently. "Now come on; we need to go tell them that you know or they are going to creepily stare at us."

He sighed as he tugged her close. "Once we are home I'm going to make love to you," he whispered.

"Sounds like heaven…"

John grabbed her hand and escorted her back to their friends to give them the happy news but stopped short causing Joss to stop too and look at him with a frown. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"You're pregnant…"

She smiled. "Yes. That was established already, John," she teased gently and tugged on his hand, trying to pull him towards their staring friends. "Now we need to go tell our friends that you know so they don't look ready to burst at the seams."

John never believed he would have a child or a real normal life. But he was getting both; he was living a normal existence with Joss by his side, and now he was going to have a child. Everything was perfect except for one thing.

He eyed her gently. "How do you feel about marriage?" he asked.

"In general or marriage to you?" she inquired, feeling her heart begin to race.

He smiled a little. "How do you feel about marriage to me?"

"I'd be honored to be your wife," she admitted gently. "But are you asking for a particular reason or just for general knowledge?"

"I'm asking for a very particular reason, Joss." he agreed. "Marry me…."

"John, you don't have to marry me because I'm pregnant with your child. I'm yours forever anyway," she reassured him. "Being married or not changes nothing. I love you."

"You're right, I don't have to but I want to. Joss, I love you and nothing would make me happier than having you as my wife."

She smiled warmly. "Ask me again,"

"Joss Carter, will you marry me?"

"Yes," she responded happily.

John grinned joyfully as he tugged her to him and kissed her for a searing few moments before stepping back. "Now we can go talk to our friends."

* * *

AN: Yes, it was a low key proposal and I could have gone splashy but it just didn't feel right for this story. But anyways Elaine convinced me to write one last chapter to this. That will be coming soon-ish.

Thanks for reading and patiently waiting for updates on this!


	5. Chapter 5

_**AN: Okay, so this took me FOREVER to write because at first I didn't know what I really wanted in this chapter but then once an idea struck I wanted it to be perfect. Hopefully it will be worth the wait. And LadySundiver, thank you for being a good friend and I hope you enjoy it!**_

* * *

"And that's how mommy and daddy fell in love," John announced.

Joss snorted but remained silent as she continued to adoringly run her fingers through his hair as he laid his head near her growing belly. John had gotten into the habit since learning of her pregnancy to get up before she went to work to have a nice little chat with his unborn child. It left her always feeling like her heart was going to melt and this morning was no different even if he told their baby girl (or boy) a bold face lie.

John looked up at her as he softly rubbed a hand on her bare stomach to smile up at her before saying; "Does mommy object?"

"I do, since that's not at all how it went down. You seem to have forgotten a few key moments like your warped sense of timing with kissing me for the first time in a morgue; or the fact that you pushed mommy away because you were trying to protect her from harm even though she'd walk through hell for daddy." she replied mildly.

John shrugged. "I think this version where it glosses over our more trying times fits the fairytale better for our princess since you seem to think we are having a girl."

She smiled dreamily. "It's just a hunch since neither one of us is ready to open that envelope that has our baby's gender listed inside it." she admitted.

Both their eyes flitted over to the nightstand where the envelope sat burning a hole in the wood. Again last night, since her last appointment really, they had stayed up debating over opening it for what seemed to be the millionth time. And again they both agreed to wait until they were married to find out their baby's gender.

Taylor on the other hand had no qualms about opening the envelope and finding out if he was going to have a baby brother or baby sister, so they allowed him to sneak a peek and made him promise to not tell them. It was a mistake since her boy had simply smiled as he looked at the gender and then slid the slip of paper back inside and put on a neutral face giving her absolutely nothing to work with. He even caught her trying to get him to slip up and spill the beans! Her son, of course, had to take after her and sniff out the scheme before she even finished fishing for clues.

John looked back at her stomach. "I love you baby," he whispered before kissing her stomach and then fixed her pajama top before sitting up and pressed a warm kiss to her mouth. "I love you mommy." he said before sneaking another kiss to her lips before sliding out of the bed with more energy then she had. She was six months along now and so far there were no hiccups except for fatigue and back pain. Oh and the occasional urge to strangle some nosy friends that tried to be way too damn helpful.

Joss sighed in dreamy delight as John stood in nothing except his underwear. The additional scars he had from his showdown with Samaritan were still angry red and puckered. She ran her fingers over them every night before bed and whispered how thankful she was that he came back to her. John was still dealing with some lingering effects from his ordeal but he was slowly healing.

"Well mommy and baby love you right back," she muttered as she allowed John to help her to her feet. He took overprotective and supportive to another level but as long as he was happy she dealt with being smothered. "We have a lot to do this morning before Taylor gets here."

"I can't wait to finally marry you. With Harold and Grace finally able to make it back from Italy to watch us elope now we can finally be man and wife." John murmured. They had postponed eloping not just for their friends to be able to come back to the United States but also because John was still in the process of getting his restaurant open for business and focusing on making The Haven a success; which they both were. The restaurant was filled on a nightly basis and the cooks John hired were top notch…two cooks were former homeless residents from The Haven, and one was a former number that needed employment. The entire menu was delicious, diverse, and affordable which drew in quite the crowd.

But now that the restaurant was taking off and The Haven, his real passion, was off the ground and running full steam ahead they could finally focus on the very real fact that if they didn't get married sooner rather than later she'd be giving birth before it.

John surprised her as he tugged her into his arms and proceeded to dance with her in their bedroom, where no music was necessary. John's happiness was like a symphony which flowed out of him and through her body causing her heart to hum with the hymn. It was beautiful to see him slowly but surely emotionally heal from everything in his past and be happy in the present, but also hopeful for the future; a future that she got to spend with him which she would be forever eternally grateful that John took his promises to heart.

"What?" he asked as he dipped her a little which made her laugh, before straightening up and stared into his eyes as she looped her arms around his neck.

"Seeing you happy makes me ridiculously so," she answered.

"Well being in the arms of the woman I love does that to me," he replied simply stealing a short but sweet kiss.

"Knock, Knock," they both looked at the door as Taylor's voice sounded behind it, before it swung open and he stood in the doorframe with a large grin on his face. "Good, you guys are decent."

John slowly released her before fist bumping with Taylor who then moved to her and pulled her into a hug. "How's my sib?" he asked as he parted from her with a look down at her protruding belly.

"I think she or he is a future soccer player because this kid sure can kick!" Joss retorted as she rested a soft hand on her belly.

Taylor smirked. "Or maybe my sib has a double dose of badassery in them and is testing out how to kick some ass." he supplied instead.

"Is _he_ now?" Joss asked innocently.

Taylor looked at his mom and laughed. "Nice try but if you want to know the gender of my baby sib then you should look in the envelope." he admonished.

She huffed as she folded her arms over her belly. "John and I agreed to not look until after we are married." she reminded with a side-eye look at John, who seemed to be faring much better then she was being patient enough to wait. But patience wasn't one of her virtues.

"Well you guys are getting married today so you should know by tonight then. That's not that much longer mom." Taylor reasoned.

"Yea, that's what I keep telling myself." she said with a long sigh. "Honey, you're here early though."

Taylor nodded. "I wanted to take you guys out to breakfast."

"Oh honey that's sweet," Joss replied softly.

"You guys went through a lot to get here and I just want to make sure that this day is extra special. I mean it's not every day my mom gets married to the love of her life." Taylor said simply. He grinned at the look on John's face. "Okay I'll let you two get dressed while I wait downstairs and no funny stuff!"

"You caught us half naked once and you think John and I can't keep our hands to ourselves!"

"Once was more than enough," Taylor reassured before he turned and raced out of the room excitedly.

John shared a looked with her before saying; "I can't wait until you're my wife Joss."

"Me neither,"

* * *

Taylor was nervous. He kept watching his cell phone's clock. Soon his surprise would be walking in the door and he wasn't entirely sure how his mom and John would react towards it. His mother hated surprises and John was a tough read. But so far the two hadn't seemed aware of his frayed nerves because they were busy being to in love to notice. It was inspiring to see two people so in love that they sort of got lost in each other. He sure hoped he found a love like that.

"So baby, care to explain why you keep eyeballing the door?" Joss asked as she casually as she finished her toast while John kept his arm wrapped around her and stroked her hip as he sipped his coffee.

Taylor shifted his gaze off the door to his mom. "Huh?"

"You think I didn't notice you're preoccupation with the door to the restaurant? What's up?" she asked.

"N-nothing,"

"Uh-huh," she repeated sounding unconvinced.

Taylor grinned as the cavalry showed up. Joss turned and groaned as she watched not only Harold and Grace but also Shaw, Fusco, Harper, Logan, and Joey all walking towards them. She shifted her gaze onto her son who shrugged.

John watched as they approached before eyeing Joss then Taylor and then to his friends. "What's going on?" he asked, feeling like this breakfast was a trap.

Shaw smirked. "We're here to pick you guys up to get you ready for your wedding."

"We aren't having a wedding," Joss countered. "We are just having a quiet ceremony at the justice of peace's office."

"Plans have changed." Logan said breezily as he grabbed a chair and swung it towards their booth as he sat down with eyes on John. "Who's your best man?"

Harper rolled her eyes. "For the millionth time…he isn't going to choose you over Harold."

"Tell Blondie here that Einstein is your best man in every universe or we'll never stop listening to his whining." Fusco griped.

"Until he says so I'm still in the running." Logan argued.

"I'd choose Harold if I needed a best man." John replied dryly.

"Who would be your runner up?" Logan persisted.

John sighed but it was Harper who spoke up; "Pierce, you're not even in Riley's top ten. In the words of Elsa: let it go."

"Regardless, it doesn't matter since I don't need a best man for eloping with Joss." John assured.

"You do since you aren't eloping and having a traditional wedding." Joey said. "And you both can't say no because it was Taylor's idea that we are all on board with."

Both set of eyes flew to him and Taylor squirmed a little in his seat. "I didn't think you two should settle for anything less than a wedding. I called Harold and he agreed to help me with the preparations."

"You set this up pretty well, I'll give you that because I had no idea which I blame being pregnant on." Joss murmured with praise, her son was sneaky good like her.

"I learned from the best." Taylor assured readily.

Joss shared a look with John who suddenly looked a little nervous but looked back to her son. "Alright, we'd be honored to have a wedding that you helped create Taylor."

"You will?"

"You thought John and I would say no?" she asked. "Baby, we love you and if you want to surprise us with a wedding which is so thoughtful and kind, how could we ever say no?"

Harold grinned as he surveyed the group. Mr. Reese and Jocelyn were the center of the commotion which for all intents and purposes was not someplace Mr. Reese liked to be but he was happy. They have given up so much of themselves helping him that he was happy to see them finally be able to experience a life full of love and happiness. They deserved nothing but the best.

"Well now that it's settled I believe its bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony." Harold murmured. Luckily for them, he already had Mr. Reese's size for his tuxedo and he could hem as the best tailor could. Since everyone else knew of the change of plans Pierce and he had helped them be fitted for tuxedos in advance and were already waiting for them at the venue where the ceremony would take place.

John scowled. "Yea but…"

"No buts, bad luck and all. Do you really want to be cursed with an ugly baby or something?" Shaw demanded as Grace reached down and grabbed Joss's elbow.

Joss glared at Shaw. "Uh, our baby is going to be beautiful, thank you very much." she said but got to her feet. She allowed the ladies to whisk her away from John who looked disgruntled over the development that she was leaving. She wasn't happy either but she was willing to let their friends have their way this one time since it was treating them to a wedding that her son wanted to give to them. She eyed the ladies sternly. "Let me be perfectly clear here; you three have a very short leash on how long I allow myself to be away from John and my son on my wedding day, so you better have a good plan on how to get me ready for this shindig quickly."

"Oh, we're ready aren't we Bruiser?" Harper asked with a smirk as she eyed Shaw, who merely shrugged.

"You better be because I'm ready to marry John right this second."

Grace smiled as she linked their arms together. "Trust us, we know and you'll be Cinderella at her ball soon enough."

* * *

Joss had to admit that in the short time since between breakfast and learning about her literal shotgun wedding, her friends managed to get her ready with her hair, nails, and found a dress that was hemmed for her by a friend of Harold's.

And the dress she found did make her feel like Cinderella headed for a ball. Joss foregone traditional white; she was too old for white. But the flowing cap sleeve cream colored gown was embellished with beading and lace appliques, it fit perfectly for a pregnant woman like her. And for her friends they all chose lavender colored halter style gowns because purple was her favorite color.

The limo had arrived and they laid the dresses nicely in the trunk before climbing in and that had been at least two hours ago if not more.

As they sat in the limo she eyed the ladies. "So, does anyone know where the wedding is taking place?" Joss asked, having tried not to.

Grace smiled. "I do. But it's a surprise. Harold swore me to secrecy."

Joss frowned as that was what she was afraid she was going to hear. She shifted her gaze onto Harper. "I haven't seen you since Grace's wedding so I hope you've been staying out of trouble."

Harper laughed. "Staying out of trouble is not a lot of fun, Carter, but don't worry about me I can take care of myself."

"Yea, well, I felt the same way and the guys had their way special way of butting their noses into my affairs. I hope some things never change." she murmured worried about Harper. They might not have to deal with an evil A.I. anymore but that didn't mean working the numbers didn't come with their own risks. She couldn't count the number of times John had gotten hurt working them.

"Pierce and Durban have larger noses than Finch and John do that you could land a plane on them so don't worry about that!"

Joss didn't want to argue as she doubted anyone was as bad as Finch and John with their level of protection she had encountered. She shifted her gaze out the window of the limo as it seemed wherever they were going was out of Manhattan and a long journey. They have been out on the expressway for hours now; she was drinking sparkling water while the others were drinking champagne.

"Are we almost there because I distinctly remember telling you that I was going to give you guys a very short leash on how long I was willing to be away from John and my son today?" she asked impatiently.

Grace smiled as she touched her hand gently. "Don't worry we are almost there but the venue where my husband got is far away from Manhattan but it's the perfect place for the two of you to get married at. But I should warn you…Logan insisted on being the ordaining minister, I think he realized that John would never choose him to be the best man over Harold." Grace explained.

Joss let out a soft laugh. "That really doesn't surprise me, that man's crush on John knows no bounds." she muttered, not really upset as she was going to have some judge do it prior to her son and her friends hijacking their plans.

Things grew quiet and Joss quietly thought about how she got here today about to marry John and a few months from giving birth to his child and grew a little misty eyed. "Baby you get to be at the wedding too." she murmured.

"She's going to cry isn't she?" Shaw demanded looking uncomfortable.

Grace glared at Shaw before sliding an arm around Joss's shoulders. "She's pregnant and this is a momentous day for her and John, of course she's going to cry!"

"Yea Bruiser, you try carrying a kid that's making you hormonal and not get sentimental on a big day!" Harper added.

"What's so bad about craving pickles with mayo and mustard sandwiches? I eat it all the time." Shaw wondered aloud before guzzling down the last of her champagne.

"That's because you eat anything and everything Shaw, normal people don't eat that." Grace answered as she pulled out a tissue from her clutch and holding it out to Joss who accepted it.

More tears flowed out of her eyes as Joss thought about how wonderful John was to go get her whatever she was craving that day to eat. Or at two in the morning he would get up out of bed and go make her pancakes. He was truly a wonderful man who took such great care of her.

"Well good news Joss; we're almost there." Harper said trying to distract Carter.

Joss looked out the window of the limo as she dabbed at her eyes and blinked as they pulled up to a castle. "Uh, where are we?"

"This is where you and John will be getting married Joss. It's called Greystone Castle and that stone is white marble limestone. It's beautiful isn't it?" Grace murmured.

"Beautiful?—it's breathtaking." she whispered as she stared at the castle as the limo came to a stop. The door was opened for them and Joss wiggled out of the limo still wide-eyed as she stared up at the castle in New York. It looked larger than life and suddenly Joss felt underdressed in her gray joggers and purple shirt. Grace slid an arm around hers and they escorted her in.

Inside was even more beautiful and elegant if that was possible. It had warm hardwood floors, stained glass, and Joss felt awed that she and John were going to get married here. Her son and Harold did a good job with this because this place sure beat out the justice of peace office.

"Where will we get married?" she asked after several moments. She wouldn't mind an outdoor wedding but with the gloomy clouds and threat of thunderstorms she didn't really want to get caught in a rainstorm.

"Downstairs, in an intimate setting for us to witness you and John pledge your love to one another." Grace explained before escorting her to the staircase as Shaw and Harper drew up the rear carrying the dresses with them.

Joss took in the renovated and beautifully decorated castle as they went downstairs and grinned happily as she saw John and her son were already there obviously waiting for her to arrive. They were dressed in tux pants and white dress shirts sans tux jacket with their bowties done already. She was a little sad to see someone had helped John with his as it wasn't cockeyed. She loved the fact that he couldn't ever get it centered.

"Hi," she murmured as she slid from the ladies and hurried over to her two most favorite men in the world. She hugged her son and allowed herself to be engulfed in John's arms.

"I didn't think you'd ever get here." he whispered in her ear.

"How long have you guys been here?" she asked lovingly squeezing him to her. Joss breathed him and loved his spicy and masculine scent that was all John.

"Hours, but then we didn't need to get our nails or hair done." he muttered as he reluctantly parted from the hug.

Joss took the opportunity to fidget with his bowtie and smiled as it was delightfully crooked. She patted his chest as she smiled up at him. "Now it's John like." she murmured before pressing a sweet kiss to his chin.

He returned the smile before looking over her shoulder. "From the sounds of things this castle was picked by both Harold and Taylor. But Taylor is to blame for the decorations." he murmured. He had no idea why Taylor chose the color palette he did but it was interesting since he didn't think Joss of being a big fan of everything pink.

Joss looked at her son who appeared pleased, curious to see what her son chosen she turned to look at where they would be taking their vows. On the two pillars before the aisle began was red and pink rose bouquets tied to them with white and pink lace ribbon wrapped around them. To accentuate the aisle on each side were pink rose pedals lying on the floor leading up to the altar marking where she'd be walking hopefully sooner rather than later. Then on all the white chairs, which were far too many for the amount of people that would be there, they had pink bows tied on the backs of them. All in all it was beautiful and elegant but oh so pink.

She glanced at her son after taking in the wonderfully decorated scene to eye her boy. "It's beautiful but exceedingly pink." she said.

Taylor shrugged. "Figured you guys should get used to seeing pink since you'll be seeing it a lot." he said cryptically.

Joss looked to where they would be getting married soon and nodded, well he definitely succeeded in getting her to see pink. Then the implication settled in her brain and she stiffened. Wait a minute, why would she need to get used to seeing a lot of pink? She shifted her gaze off the decorated room to her son and then John who froze too, coming to the same conclusion as she did. She looked back to her son who wasn't even trying to play cool anymore as he was smiling and was bouncing like he used to do on Christmas morning as a little boy.

Joss didn't think she could speak but thankfully John did; "Taylor, are you saying that Joss and I are going to have a daughter?"

Taylor nodded enthusiastically. "I know you guys were going to look at the envelope after you were married but I thought my baby sister should get to have her presence known at the wedding too, aside from being in mom's womb." he said with a grin.

Joss looked up at John who looked awed and grinned. "We're having a girl," she whispered and John tugged her into his arms and she buried her face into his neck. She could feel his heart racing and could feel the tiny little tremble shudder through him knowing he was touched.

Taylor gave the two a few moments to themselves before wrapping his arms around both of them and felt arms loop around him too. "Did I surprise you guys with the gender reveal?" he wondered. It wasn't everyday he got to surprise his mom because she always sniffed them out from a mile away but he had taken every precaution with her.

"Yes," his mom answered muffled sounding like she was crying.

They stayed in the group hug until gentle clearing of throats broke them apart. Joss swiped at her eyes again while mentally berating her hormones as John tugged her up against his chest keeping his arms around her and gently rubbed her stomach as their friends watched them.

"You guys knew didn't you," Joss accused. The surprise was wonderful but she was a little miffed that Shaw and Harper knew the sex of her baby before she did.

"About the gender of your kid…no, we knew that Taylor was going to surprise you with it here though." Shaw said with a shrug.

"When Taylor asked me to help set up a traditional wedding he said he wanted to include the gender reveal as well. I asked to not be informed until the reveal as well so when it came to decorations I allowed Taylor to speak to the wedding planner himself. Your son took care of everything so that way everyone learned the truth at the same time, well everyone except Taylor." Harold added with a smile.

Grace looked ready to cry as she held a hand over her heart. "Oh, your daughter is just going to be so precious…" she murmured warmly. Joss smiled as she looked up at John and nodded, their daughter was going to be gorgeous inside and out.

Logan rubbed his hands together. "And now that the reveal happened and the ladies are here, might I suggest that they go get changed so we can get the show on the road. John has been complaining the entire day and I'm ready to do my first ever wedding ceremony." he said with an extra bounce in his step as he looped an arm around John's and tried to tug him from Joss. Logan cleared his throat as he instantly let John's arm go patting his bicep and stepped back with hands out at the scowl he received.

Fusco and Joey shared a look before motioning at John. "C'mon Wonder-Boy let Carter go for a few seconds, you two will be hitched in no time and on your honeymoon there is plenty of time for cuddling, and well you know, then." he muttered.

"Dress fast Joss," John whispered before dropping a kiss on the top of her head amidst the curls before reluctantly letting her go as he allowed Fusco, Durban, and Finch to draw him to where the groomsmen got ready.

Joss watched as he left and hugged her son warmly. "Go make sure he doesn't sneak a peek, baby." she said before turning to follow the girls to where she would be able to get ready. She closed the door behind her and eyed Shaw, Grace, and Harper. "We have five minutes and if you're not ready; I'm getting married without you." she stated and then everyone was in a flurry.

* * *

"I'll admit I never dressed so fast in my life." Grace said with a happy laugh as she helped zip up Joss's dress. Shaw and Harper were slipping on their heels as they too dressed as quickly as possible.

Joss smirked. "I knew you ladies could do it," she admitted before turning around to eye her friends before her gaze landed on Shaw, who looked good in something other than black. "Shaw, I'd like you to be my maid of honor."

"Me?" Shaw said, sounding un-Shaw like. "I thought you'd choose Grace."

"Grace is the sane choice and while we are friends; you and I have been through a lot together and I want you to be by my side as I marry John." she said with a shrug.

Harper and Grace smiled as it appeared Joss had rendered Shaw speechless. "Bruiser unable to come back with a comeback or death threat…hell has frozen over." Harper murmured trying to break the silence deafening the room.

"Shaw, you have friends…get used to it." Grace added trying to help their socially awkward friend who appeared touched to be asked to be Joss's maid of honor but also uncomfortable.

Joss eyed Shaw and decided to help her out. "I'll tell everyone I bribed you with a steak dinner to get you to agree. No one will ever know you agreed willingly that way your reputation of being a loner is still intact." she offered. Shaw stared at her. She motioned at the room. "Now someone get out there and tell them I'm ready to get married." she ordered. Grace and Harper both hurried to go do as she asked leaving her alone with Shaw.

"Carter…" Shaw murmured.

She turned to look at Shaw. "What Shaw, I shouldn't ask you because of something you did in a simulation after you were mentally tortured for months? It wasn't real and it wasn't you." Joss said with finality. She had thought Shaw had moved on from this but apparently she was wrong.

"If I was stronger it would never have happened." Shaw argued.

"A weaker woman would have broken and told them where to find her friends and everyone would have ended up truly dead. So take it from a woman who needed forgiveness I can tell you that what you are looking for forgiveness for…doesn't require any." Joss stated brusquely.

Shaw looked at her questioningly. Joss felt her heart ache as she dredged up a painful memory especially on her wedding day but it was necessary. "Before you met the guys or me; I was a cop that was chasing after John because I didn't really know what the hell he was. He saved my life and how did I repay him?—by getting him shot, I thought I was helping him but I got played by the CIA who wanted to kill John. And it took me the longest time to get over it and forgive myself for it. Because I realized I didn't need to seek John's forgiveness because he didn't see why I needed it in the first place.

Joss hoped that painful moment in her life would help Shaw see that John would never hold anything against her. "Now that unpleasantness is out of the way I want to go get married to John so will you be my maid of honor or not?" she asked softly.

Shaw's usual dull brown eyes were bright with unshed tears that the woman would never dare cry and would vehemently deny ever being in her eyes. "Thank you Carter," she whispered before clearing her throat and the rare emotion was gone and Shaw was back to Shaw as she smirked. "But you didn't tell me in time to let me give you a bachelorette party that would go down in the history books of being the fucking best ever!"

"Good thing I didn't know about the wedding to pick you as my maid of honor sooner because I think you're idea of best ever bachelorette party would include strippers, tattoos, and alcohol that I can't drink." she muttered as Shaw escorted her to the door.

"Even if Reese was the stripper?" Shaw demanded.

She snorted. "First: I don't share, and secondly there would be nothing you could offer John to get him to strip in front of you, Grace, and Harper." she stated with utmost certainty as Shaw opened the door and both stopped dead in their tracks as Taylor stood there looking so handsome in his tux.

"Wow mom you look beautiful," Taylor said as he gave her a long look over.

"Baby, what are you doing here?" she asked. "Did John send you to see what was going on?" She knew she talked with Shaw but she didn't think it had been that long to need to send out help.

He smiled as he shook his head. "No, I'm here because I'm going to walk you down the aisle mom. I know it's not traditional but John suggested it and we both know how untraditional he is." he said with a laugh.

Shaw looked at Taylor and then Carter and winced. "Shit, the waterworks are gonna come again aren't they? Geez kid, couldn't you have dropped this bombshell on her sooner!" Shaw grumbled as she disappeared back into the room to go in search for that tissue box she saw.

Joss tugged her son into a hug as she cried. "Mom, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry." he whispered regretfully.

"No, I'm crying because I'm so happy baby. This is the most wonderful day of my life. I'm about to marry the man I love while carrying our daughter, after being escorted down the aisle by my son."

Taylor rubbed his mom's back knowing a lot of the crying was due to hormones, his mom wasn't a crier and when she did she did it while alone not usually in front of anyone. When he saw Shaw he pulled out of the hug to hand her the tissue.

Joss took it angry with herself that this is the third time she had cried in less than a couple hours. She patted her stomach. "Hey baby girl, give mommy a break she doesn't want to blubber all day long."

"I think you're in for a few more crying jags mom because I think John wants to do his own vows."

She groaned as she grabbed the box of tissues. "I'm carrying these down the aisle instead of flowers." she muttered which made Taylor laugh.

Shaw took it from her and handed her the small bouquet of flowers. "I'm sure Finch or Fusco, or one of the other guys has a handkerchief you can borrow. Let's get this show on the road before Reese whines."

Joss nodded more than ready to get going. She looked at her son as Shaw motioned into the room where they would be getting married and it cued up the music. Taylor held out his arm for his mom which she readily took. "How nervous is John?" she asked.

"He's not; more impatient."

"Oh I know that feeling," she whispered as they moved to the entrance and she smiled as she saw John. He was the only one in the room to her. John looked handsome in his tux and she saw a large smile on his face. And it made her heart nearly burst to realize she was the reason for his happiness.

Joss felt like she glided down the aisle towards him and she couldn't stop smiling back at him as she stepped beside him. She could see Harold smiling widely behind John as he stood up as John's best man. She mentally told herself she wasn't going to cry.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here…" Logan began and then paused as both Joss and John looked at him with arched brows. "What?—I did my homework on what to say and do."

"Can we have a little less traditional, Pierce?" John asked quietly.

Logan looked giddy to comply to anything John asked for and then some. "Sure John, anything for your wedding day!" he agreed before clearing his throat to begin again. "We are all here for you two because both of you have somehow touched our lives and we want nothing but the best for you."

"Here, here," Fusco chimed in as he sat with Grace and Bear on one side of him with Joey and Harper on the other side.

"I won't even begin to say how much I know and I think everyone in this room knows that you two belong together. So on behalf of everyone in this room I just want to congratulate you both on finding everlasting love." Logan said, for once serious.

Joss smiled as she tore her adoring gaze off John and to eye Logan. "That was much better," she complimented him.

"Thanks Joss, and enough out of me. John would like to say his own vows; he's been practicing if the brooding we were receiving for the better part of four hours is any indication." Logan said with a smirk residing on his handsome and pompous face.

She looked to John who motioned that he wanted to hold her hands so she gave Shaw her bouquet before taking a hold of his. "That surprises me, John." she admitted.

"That I want to say my own vows?"

"Yea, you aren't a good public speaker." she reminded.

"For you, I'd do anything." he answered simply.

John stood quietly staring at the woman he loved, who was carrying his child…his daughter. And speaking aloud in front of people wasn't something he enjoyed but he needed her to understand how much she meant to him.

"When I was eight I asked my mother what is love," he began slowly, a little awkwardly and felt tongue tied because he could feel everyone's eyes on him, talking about his mother to anyone wasn't something he willingly did, but the only pair that mattered was Joss's. Her lovely set of intelligent brown eyes were squarely on him and he felt his confidence come back. "She told me it was this feeling that you got for one special man or woman and it could strike you at anytime, anywhere and in any moment. She said that love is like a treasure; golden, priceless, and once you find it you cherish it forever.

And on the night we met, when I was just a homeless drunk who had no use for the world anymore, I met this compassionate detective and I found my treasure." he said softly.

"Oh John," she whispered feeling tears well up in her eyes. How was she not supposed to cry at that?—at learning that John asked his momma what was love? Talk about hitting her right in the heart!

"I didn't make it easy on us, Joss, because I was scared. I spent so much time learning how to ignore my feelings because in my line of work feelings were a weakness to exploit. It wasn't until you almost died that made me realize that my feelings for you were actually a strength and not a weakness. Knowing you changed me but loving you saved me. I will never be able to explain to you how much this life with you and Taylor means to me. You are my life Joss; you are my home. And you, our daughter, and Taylor mean everything to me. Joss you won't be just my wife you will be my heart and soul for the rest of my life and beyond." he said roughly, grateful he was done so that no one would know how utterly close he was to breaking in front of everyone.

Joss didn't even bother to stop the tears from falling. She knew how deep John's love for her went but it meant everything to her that he spoke it aloud in front of the world to hear. John didn't speak his feelings well but it touched her that he wanted to pledge his love in front of everyone.

Logan cleared his throat as there were a lot of misty eyes here. He caught Harper dabbing at her eyes discreetly. "Well that was smooth John." he muttered before addressing Joss; "Do you have your own vows Joss or would you like me…"

She didn't tear her watery gaze off John to spare Logan a glance as she said; "I'd like to say my own too."

John gently squeezed her hands and she took a deep breath.

"John, you have told me how I changed you but I never told you how you changed me." she spoke softly as if it was just them in the room. "Before you, I didn't trust anyone because for me trust was earned and not given. I trusted someone readily once and it blew up in my face. I didn't have any faith in spoken words or promises because usually they were empty and left me heart broken. Everything was black or white, good or bad, and nothing was ever in between for me. But then you came along and you were the very definition of in between. You were good and bad. You challenged my way of thinking and flipped my world on its head. You vowed to me that you would save my son and you kept your word. And in that moment you earned my trust.

Joss paused as she licked her dry lips and she could see how her words were affecting John. He truly didn't realize how much he changed her.

"Then you promised me that you would come back to me after the fight with Samaritan and you kept your promise fighting to stay alive for me. You restored my faith that promises weren't empty because I know that when you promise me something you will do everything humanly possible to keep your word. And so do I; I promise that I will love you forever. You will always be my home too, John. You won't be just my husband; you will be _my_ heart and soul just as I am yours."

John tried to smile. Joss let his hands go and rubbed his tears away.

Logan cleared his throat. "I think they are competing to see who gets the wedding party here to ugly cry. I think Shaw, who was the last man standing, has cracked."

"I am not crying! I think I smell onions somewhere, which is getting me to tear up." Shaw growled and no one dared to claim otherwise.

Logan looked to Harold. "Harold, hand John the ring, please."

Harold nodded as he held it out to John, sniffling a bit. "Thank you," John mumbled. He really needed to get to the part where he got to kiss Joss because he desperately wanted too.

"Repeat after me John; with this ring I thee wed,"

"With this ring I thee wed," John repeated as he slid the ring onto Joss's finger. "Now I can kiss her right?" he demanded gruffly.

"Sorry John, no can do; Joss kind of has some ring sliding to do herself." Pierce rebuked with a wink. "But I'll make it quick after that since you got that growly look back on your face."

Joss turned to take the ring from Shaw, and turned back to John. "With this ring I thee wed," she said not bothering to wait for Logan who actually pouted as she slid the ring onto John's finger.

"You two are just taking all the fun out of it!" Logan griped good naturedly. "Okay I see that these two are impatient so with no further ado: I now pronounce you man and wife,"

"Finally," John stated as he tugged Joss to him and kissed her warmly.

Joss sighed as she kissed him back hearing clapping, felt their daughter kicking away inside her…she must be happy that daddy and mommy were finally married. She grabbed John's left hand and rested it on her stomach and he pulled free of the kiss to smile as he felt their daughter kick.

"She's celebrating too," Joss said with a watery laugh.

"I love you Joss,"

She stared into his eyes. "I love you too, husband." she whispered and he bent to press a soft kiss to her lips before they were enveloped by their friends and family.

* * *

AN: Well I figured since this entire story was full on mush mode I had to do about the same for this. But I think they deserved a sappy end after the hell they went through. Now this story has a complete end with a promise of baby girl on the way :)

Thanks for reading and for being patient! Next up, maybe I'll begin posting my new story. Either that or my Halloween story but that would mean no post until the week of Halloween. I guess I'll see how it goes.


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